Category: Building Christian Character

I used to believe that there are no dumb questions. I want people around me to feel free to ask anything that is on their mind. Now that I have been a substitute teacher for eight years, I have changed my mind. There are some questions that are dumb, mainly because the person asking them is intentionally trying to be a smarty pants and get a laugh from their peers.

I recently heard a pastor preach about the Sadducees trying to catch Jesus, by asking him a dumb question. What if a woman marries a man and he dies and then she marries his brother and he dies? This scenario goes on through seven brothers. They wanted to know whose wife she would be at the resurrection. It was a ridiculous question, and was intended as a trap, but Jesus answered. He told them there was no marriage at the resurrection. We all just belong to God.

The pastor went on to talk about other ridiculous questions like, was the creature who swallowed Jonah, a fish or a whale? The answer was, “What difference does it make? God got Jonah where He wanted him.” That’s a perfect answer to that question, as far as I’m concerned.

There are people who ask questions simply to hear themselves talk. They are not seekers of truth, but are more interested in causing doubt or division. That got me to thinking about prayer.

Are there dumb prayers? Maybe.

When we pray, if we act like God is a genie or a Magic 8 Ball, that might be a waste of everyone’s time. If we spend our time praying to win the Lotto; that may not be considered wise prayer.

I often hear the teenagers that I have worked with complain that God doesn’t answer their prayers. My answer has always been that He does answer prayers, but the answer is sometimes, “no.” But, the next question is, “What are you praying for?” If you are praying for another person to like you or for it to snow in August so school will be cancelled, you are not praying for the right things. This usually makes them think.

Jesus taught us to pray for God’s will to be done. That means we should be asking for guidance, not begging for favors. We are supposed to ask for our daily bread, not for riches, which means we are supposed to ask for enough, not abundance.We are supposed to ask for forgiveness as we seek assistance in forgiving others. We are supposed to ask for strength when dealing with temptation and deliverance from evil. We are supposed to end our prayers by glorifying God.

I admit that my prayers don’t  always look like that, but I suspect we get answers to prayers following that template more than others. I think the key is God’s will, not ours. It’s about God focus not self-focus, a tricky concept in today’s society. When we pray for answers concerning His will, we will get them eventually. We sometimes have to be patient and watchful, but we will get them.

Now, I totally believe in conversational prayer and I believe that we are supposed to pray about all things that concern us. But, if we believe that God consistently denies our prayers, then maybe we need to take a good hard look at what we are praying for. Sometimes the answer is, “no,” but sometimes it’s clearly not in God’s will. If we seek His will in our lives, we may find that our prayers start looking a lot different than when we were seeking our own will. We also may find that the answers come much faster.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

We recently had a new family move in down the street from us. They moved here to Georgia, from New York. I made a plate of brownies and gathered the family to go pay them a, “welcome to the neighborhood visit.” When the husband opened the door and I told him why we were there, he looked at me like I had two heads and called his wife. They kind of nervously shook our hands and chatted for a very short time. We said, goodbye and headed home.

My daughter inquired why we always bake something when people move in. We are baking for perfect strangers. I told her, “We make it our business to welcome new people to our neighborhood. That’s just who we are.”

I shared my story with another new neighbor. They moved here from Charleston, but were originally from Connecticut. She laughed hysterically. “They don’t do that up North.” I found myself saying again, that welcoming new people with baked goods is something we do, whether the new neighbors are from up North or the other side of the world.  “That’s just who we are.”

When we were going though a period of time where my teens were really complaining about going to church on Sundays, I made it very clear to them under no uncertain terms, that we go to worship service on Sundays. That’s just who we are. They also pointed out to my hubby and me that we are the only family that they know who eat dinner together at the table every night. You know my response at this point.

All of these conversations have been swirling in my head about how we define ourselves. What in our lives matter the most to us? What are the behaviors and traditions that we simply will not budge on?

What about our faith walk? If we know who we are in Christ, who does the world see in us? Do people suspect that we are a Christian when they cross paths with us? Do they know it instantly or do they have no idea who we belong to? The Bible tells us that we are supposed to become more Christ like on our journey. Does our growth match the time that we have been believers?

Jesus told his followers that the most important commandment was to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these.” Mark 12:29-30. Those are red letter words, so they are really important. In Luke, he goes onto explain who your neighbor is by telling the parable of the Good Samaritan. The Jews did not like the Samaritans. Jesus knew that, yet he told the story anyway.

Love is what sets Christianity apart from the rest, our love for our God and our love for others. It’s not about hate or force or fear. Those are the opposites of Christianity and the opposites of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. Those things come from another source entirely.

We are supposed to render aid whenever we can. We are supposed to feed the hungry and nurse the sick and befriend the friendless and try to help the helpless, whether or not they are Christian, because in doing so, we are showing the lost, the face of Christ. In doing so, we become more Christ like. In doing so, we may be the pivotal force in helping those who don’t know Jesus become those who seek Jesus. In doing so, we are loving our God and our neighbor and that’s just who we are.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

If you have ever traveled on an airplane before, you have had to sit through the safety video. Just for the record, I always pay attention to those, not because I’m a nerd who always follows the rules, (which I kind of am), but because I was sitting next to an air traffic controller one night on a really turbulent flight (so turbulent that one of the flight attendants got sick), and he told me that most airplane crashes are survivable, but you have to know what to do and most people ignore the video. Point taken, I always pay attention to the boring, but short, video.

The video says that if there is a situation where cabin pressure gets lost, that oxygen masks will drop down from the ceiling. It then goes onto say, that if you are traveling with a small child, you are to put on your own mask first and then the child’s. Those instructions have always bothered me. They probably trouble most parents. We always put our children first. If somebody goes without oxygen, it’s going to be me, not my child.

But, the reason for those instructions is that there will likely be panic and maybe turbulence. If you quickly get yourself situated, and you can if you were watching the video, because you listened to the instructions, then you can easily help your child or anyone else nearby.

Many of  us often frown on the idea of ever putting ourselves before our family or others. Putting yourself last makes you a good Christian, right? It’s an age-old myth that is very easy to buy into and get twisted up in.

Yes, we are supposed to give our time and resources in service to others. Yes, we are supposed to feed others when we can. But, if we never feed ourselves, won’t we eventually starve and have much less, if anything to give? This is called burnout and this is what many of the givers and servers often find themselves experiencing. We can get so burned out, that we just walk away from all of our acts of service. Who wins then?

The Bible tells us that Jesus himself, sometimes needed a break. “But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” Luke 5:16

Jesus is the picture of the ultimate servant. He could heal people. He could cast out demons. He could resurrect people from the dead. He did so regularly with an open heart and I truly believe, just because he could and he hated to see all of the human suffering. The crowds hounded him. There were always more sick people, more questions and more need.

He often, took quiet time to pray. I think that Jesus is a good model for us in that, we need to give ourselves some space to breathe. We have to take time to take care of ourselves and our own hearts before we can help others. We need to intentionally take some quiet time for ourselves in prayer. We also may need to sleep late for a day or find time to take a walk or read a book.

We need to keep a close watch on the needle of our emotional and spiritual gas tank. When it gets low, we need to take note and fill it up in whatever way allows us to get out there and happily serve again. Sometimes that means feeding ourselves first, but if that’s what it takes so that we can help feed the multitudes, don’t you think that it’s worth it?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

When I logged onto my computer today, a headline caught my eye. “Washington State School District Bans Swings.” I just had to click on the link and sure enough, a town in the state of Washington has decided that swing sets are too dangerous and they are phasing them out. The highest injuries come from a child getting hit when walking in front of a swing. That does hurt. I have had it happen to me and I vividly remember it. It was at a birthday party. It only happened once though. That was a life lesson well learned. I always gave those swings plenty of room after that incident and I still love to swing today. It feels like flying.

This is just one more school ban on kids’ activities in a list of many. Dodge ball has been banned in many districts because feelings can get hurt and I heard that tag had been banned somewhere the other day. My parents played these games and probably my grandparents. How emotionally damaging can they be?

We have become experts in protecting our children from danger both physically and emotionally, but at what cost? I remember kids having to stand in the corner, not to mention paddling. I even had one particularly creative teacher who dealt with classroom bickering by making the two students walk up and down the hall holding hands for the entire class period. It didn’t matter whether it was boy/girl or two boys or two girls. It was very effective. Trust me, you didn’t cross this woman. Could you imagine this happening today?

We have decided that our children should never get their feelings hurt by adults or other kids and that they should never be embarrassed in class, even if they didn’t do their homework or are disrespectful. Unfortunately, adults aren’t doing much better.

We have the little term not even heard of twenty years ago called, “political correctness.” We walk on eggshells around certain people not wanting to offend anyone. The land of free speech as guaranteed by our First Amendment, has become the land of fraidy cats. We are terrified of saying the wrong thing. They taught us in journalism school back in the eighties that the remedy to bad speech was always more speech, never silencing the offending party. That’s what dictatorships did. When did Americans become so thin-skinned? When did someone saying something that I disagreed with or that hurt my feelings, become hate speech?

However it happened, we are often afraid to speak our minds. So the out of control child at school, or in our neighborhood, or in our church, stays out of control. The co-worker who drives us insane with incessant rants does so unchecked. We can watch people we really care about make very bad decisions, but we don’t dare speak out, lest we be accused of judging.

King Solomon, one the of the wisest men who ever lived, wrote in Proverbs 12:1, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Ouch! No one likes to get called out. Right? But, he says we are supposed to appreciate someone calling us out and not be angry at that person. That’s a tough thing to do. I’m guessing that’s supposed to go for our kids too.

Paul writes in Hebrews, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Interesting. I have found that to be true in my own life. When my mama made me return the Chicklets I took from Woolworth’s when I was five, I was embarrassed. I never stole anything else.

Perhaps our problem is the further we get away from God and His Word, the more common sense disappears. I suspect Satan loves the idea of humanity running around suing one another and people walking in fear of offending each other. And if kids never get their feelings hurt, can they learn empathy?

This swing set thing really got me to thinking. How much protection is too much? What exactly are we so afraid of? If it’s the disapproval of our fellow humans, it might be time to change our focus. What do you think? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Anyone who has ever traveled with young children has heard the famous words, “Are we there yet?” Children are usually very impatient to get to where they are going. But, truthfully, aren’t we all? We can’t wait to grow up. We can’t wait to get married. We can’t wait to have kids. We can’t wait for our kids to get a little older and the list goes on and on.

I was just reading the Exodus account of God calling Moses to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. They had been in Egypt for 430 years. The group that started from Joseph and his eleven brothers and their families had grown to 600 thousand men and that didn’t even take into account women and children. They had become slaves to the people who their ancestors had saved. The text says, “Eventually, a new king came to power in Egypt who knew nothing about Joseph or what he had done.” Exodus 1:8

The Egyptians may had forgotten about Joseph saving them with God’s special gifts, but God had not forgotten. He never forgets His people or His promises. He told Abraham centuries before that He would give them the land flowing with milk and honey. So, God calls Moses to lead them home, but first they have to get out of Egypt.

Imagine the Israelites’ wonder and surprise, when Moses tells them that God is going to lead them home. Here’s the part where I’m thinking He should just have them click their heels together like Dorothy in the, “Wizard of Oz.” Tell Pharaoh to let the people go and if he refuses, then just strike him down. I mean, God has that power. I’ll bet they too, had something easier and speedier in mind. Isn’t that our human nature?

Well, Moses tells Pharaoh to let the people go and he refuses and then he makes the Israelites work even harder. And God rains down ten plagues on the Egyptians. He turned the Nile to blood, sent frogs, flies, gnats and locusts. He killed cattle and sent hail and covered the land in pitch black for three days. He covered the Egyptians with boils, but Pharaoh would not relent. Then He killed all of the firstborn sons of the Egyptians and at last, Pharaoh chased them out. (at first)

But, I wonder what all of the Israelites were thinking when this was happening. Were they in complete awe of God’s power? Were they frightened? Were they growing in faith with each plague that missed them and got the Egyptians or were they just desperate to get home already?

While we can be completely fascinated with God’s awesome show of power in this story, these desperate, tired people just wanted to go home to a place where they were free to worship, a place that had been promised to them centuries before. I wonder about the Red Sea parting and the manna falling. They had to have been amazed at God’s glory, but they also had to have been anxious for a place to call home.

I wonder how often we miss small miracles all around us in our desperate quest to get to where we are going. How often to we miss God’s wonder and majesty? It’s so easy to get focused on some future goal or place that we miss the manna in our lives. God’s majesty is ever-present. In sunsets and sunrises in the flowers of spring and the leaves of fall in each first breath of a newborn baby, His fingerprints are there.

The God of Joseph and Moses is our God. His power is just as awesome as it was back in Moses’ day. He never changes. Let’s never forget who He is and what He does everyday. Let’s try to enjoy the ride and stop asking, “Are we there yet?”

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂