Category: Friendship

Good friends are one of life’s greatest blessings. It’s so important to value our friends and to be thankful for them.

Still Standing

Posted on by Wendy
There is nothing left of the house, but the chimney is still standing.
There is nothing left of the house, but the chimney is still standing.

I had a really hard day yesterday. My hubby and I had to make a really difficult, but necessary decision. I shared it with some of my heart sisters at church. Everyone who is a Christian is a brother or sister in Christ, but there are some of those people who share a very special place in my heart. I think of them as heart sisters. I can always be honest with them and share my true self. They don’t always expect a plastered on smile. They are the ones who hand me a tissue when I get teary.

They were supportive as I knew in my heart they would be and sad too. They are gifts from God. The really cool the thing about these women is that I don’t have to see them or talk to them often to feel the special bond I have with them. I would love to see them more, but it’s not required. It’s a friendship that has to be forged by our faith.

I never really gave the heart sisters bond that much thought before today. I love them. I love to see them. I’ve always felt close to them, but I never gave the why that much thought. We would probably have never even met each other if it hadn’t been for our church.

Later in the afternoon, my hubby and I decided to take a walk at the Botanical Gardens. I have always found that being out in nature is balm for a hurting soul. Creation is after all, God’s cathedral and it was a stunning day outside, one of those days that you want to give special thanks for, with low humidity, a light breeze and a deep blue sky. For some reason, our teenagers decided to join us. I’m smart enough to know that teens wanting to spend any time with their parents is also a gift from God.

Somehow, we got on a trail that we hadn’t been on before and an hour or so planned stroll, turned into a close  to three hour, seven mile walk. We did stop often to take pictures and enjoy the scenery, but towards the end, we wondered if we would have to camp out. We were exhausted and lost. Would the trail ever reach its destination?

Somewhere near the end, we ran upon this old chimney. It had once been part of a house. There was nothing left of the house. It was surrounded by trees and weeds and wilderness, but the chimney stood proudly, perfectly intact. I couldn’t help but snap a photo. It reminded me of the heart sisters bond.

It doesn’t really matter where we are or how often we see each other, the bond is strong and sturdy like the chimney. It still stands. I find that comforting. When relationships are forged by God, they will stand the test of time and the elements because they are blessed. Certain people are put in our spiritual lives for a reason only God knows, but I sure am thankful for them. The trail did eventually end as all trails and journeys do, and as usual, God had given me food for thought while I was out in nature, seeking Him. I suspect getting lost was part of His plan all along. I would have never seen the chimney otherwise.

Have you ever given much thought to heart sisters or brothers? I’ll bet if you do, some will come to mind. If they do, say a prayer of thanks; they are a special gift.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Praying Parents

Posted on by Wendy
There is an undeniable force that comes from praying parents.
There is an undeniable force that comes from praying parents.

I received a text in June from one of my daughter’s best friends. She wanted to know what I thought about her planning a surprise birthday party for my daughter at the end of July. I asked her what she had in mind. She said something simple, so I told her I thought it was a great idea. She was thrilled.

Let me give you a little background here. When we moved into our neighborhood, my daughter was in kindergarten. My son had a friend down the street. I prayed for years that a family with good strong values would move in with a daughter her age and that they would grow a strong friendship.

In fourth grade, that prayer was answered. My daughter and April became the best of friends.

One of my strongest prayers for both of my children has been that they will build strong, solid friendships. I think friendship is such a blessing. I stumbled upon a photo of my senior prom the other day of me and my four best friends from high school. It still warms my heart. I still love those girls.

My daughter and April have four other friends that they hang out with most of the time. Two of them went on a mission trip this summer with my daughter. All of them go to church. They are good for each other and good to each other. They have their ups and downs the way teen girls will, but they are never mean-spirited or disrespectful to one another.

So, yesterday, April asked my daughter if she could stop by her house because she wanted to give her something for her birthday. Our family stopped and made an excuse to go in with her. Her five best friends jumped out and said, “surprise!” My daughter was floored. She had no idea.

They all spent the night at our house. I have always made them welcome here. I think having a chance to hang out as a group helps to grow friendship. My mom felt the same way, so much so, that she put in a swimming pool. They stayed up half of the night talking and giggling like teenagers do.

When everyone was gone, my daughter and I had a chance to talk about it all. At first she felt overwhelmed by the gesture. But, then it dawned on her how blessed she is to have friends who love her and how blessed she is to have found these girls.

She’s learning the beauty of community. One of the girls broke up with her long time boyfriend this summer. The others rallied around her. One of the girls got a boyfriend for the first time. They have listened to her talk endlessly about him. They have supported each other. They are growing up.

As a mother, this is a powerful force to behold, this blooming friendship between these girls. I pray that God will continue to bless them and grow them to serve Him. Watching them together makes me give thanks for the beautiful friendships that I have been blessed with and I am reminded of the power of praying parents.

God is always listening. We need to make sure that we are talking.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Growing Friendship

Posted on by Wendy
My daughter had some really good friends come and cheer her on at a performance last weekend.
My daughter had some really good friends come and cheer her on at a performance last weekend.

My daughter is almost finished with her freshman year of high school. When she started this year, one of her friends asked her what she hoped to accomplish during her four years of high school. Her friend went on to say that she wanted her name on trophies to be displayed in the office. She wanted her name left permanently on the school. She also had plans of obtaining very high grades that would also earn her a permanent plaque.

When she pressed my daughter on what she hoped to accomplish during her high school years, she replied, “I hope to make some lifelong friendships like my mom has with some of her friends from high school.”

Her friend was stunned. It doesn’t seem like a very lofty goal at first glance, but it’s much harder than it appears and incredibly worth it. Friendship isn’t something that’s tangible and they certainly won’t give you a trophy for it with your name engraved on it, but there are few things in life that I treasure more.

I just celebrated my forty-fourth birthday and one of my dearest friends from high school came over first thing that day and brought me a card and we had coffee and caught up. Her gift was priceless.

My daughter had a performance last weekend where she sang and played the guitar. She invited her closest friends to her performance. They came and stood in the hot sun for an hour-and-a-half, waiting for her to play and then clapped and cheered for her when she went on.

In the early teen years, I can’t tell you what this means to a young girl’s self-esteem. These friends are a gift from God, a gift I pray she will always treasure. I pray that these kids will continue to grow their friendship as they love and support each other.

I truly believe she got it right that day in a conversation in early August. While sports and grades are definitely a very important part of high school, relationship is king. Competition and hard work are a necessary part of life, but we were made for relationship. All the social media and texting over talking, has made relationship and true friendship much harder to grow.

It may be harder, but not impossible and I regularly encourage her to gather with her community. My mom did the same. There was always a crowd of kids at my house growing up. They always felt welcome. We always had a place to be together.(and plenty of snacks) We made memories that still make me smile.

My daughter’s friends are often at my house where I always try to make them feel welcome. I try to encourage relationship and I pray that she will always remember the fabulous gift that true friendship is. Who knows, perhaps on her forty-fourth birthday, one of those girls will join her for coffee? I hope she will be that blessed.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

A Valentine’s Day Celebration

Posted on by Wendy
There's more to Valentine's Day than hearts and flowers.
There’s more to Valentine’s Day than hearts and flowers.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Since I have a fourteen year old without a boyfriend, I’m keenly aware that it’s the world’s most romantic day in high school and she is single. (Her daddy is thrilled). Keep in mind, most of her friends are single too. In fact, four of her closest friends have planned a “Lonely Hearts Sleepover” at my house this evening.

I don’t know why there seems to be much less dating in high school these days. I place part of the blame on our friends at Disney. Their whole lives, these girls have had Ariel and Belle and Prince Charming. Let’s face it, Prince Charming is difficult to find as an adult, but in high school he’s awfully close to nonexistent. That, along with the fact that texting has completely replaced talking and boys and girls don’t know how to talk to each other anymore, in my mind, has created the perfect storm of non-dating, unrealistic expectations along with no communication.

Whatever the reasons, I am hosting five, delightful, single girls this evening. They have each agreed among themselves to bring chocolate, sour treats, salty snacks etc… They are each bringing a movie to watch and will likely stay up most of the night talking and laughing.

I wish I could make my daughter understand the importance of these evenings. She and her friends have forged together a little community that started back in middle school. Boys will come and go, but these friendships have the potential to be lifelong.

Some of my closest friendships were built in high school. Just a few months ago, I got together with some of these girls and talked about old times like they were yesterday. We laughed like the girls who will sleep in my basement tonight.

An internet search for the word love in the Bible turned up 551 times in the NIV version. There are so many different kinds of love. Romantic love is just one kind and the one that gets all of the press on Valentine’s Day. But, the love present in community is a beautiful thing on its own.

My daughter is too young yet to understand the life-sustaining support that community can offer. Friendship is one of God’s most beautiful gifts. Tonight, she will be making memories that she will probably be laughing about twenty years from now, even if she doesn’t know it at the moment.

She has a ton of Valentine’s Days ahead of her, but these high school years are short and friendships are special. So, we will order pizza, close the basement door and let the giggling begin. I hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day and celebrate it in a way significant to you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

A Love Story

Posted on by Wendy
Like this flower, a happy ending can always brighten your day.
Like this flower, a happy ending can always brighten your day.

I got a text yesterday from one of my high school friends, inviting me to a graduation party for her daughter. I think I must have gasped audibly when I read it because the man sitting across the room from me looked up from his phone. This child who is graduating from high school is her baby.

Let me give you a little background here. This friend is a part of one of my favorite love stories. She and her husband dated all through high school. The winter after high school, they announced a very quick wedding. We were all kind of stunned. I was away at college and couldn’t quite fathom it all. This was the late eighties. We had choices.

They made theirs. They chose life. They chose love. The support they got from their families was overwhelming. Let me tell you, it was amazing. They moved into a tiny house behind her grandmother’s house. Her parents and siblings and his parents painted it inside and out. They put in carpet and furniture. They made it a home.

They both worked and she had to quit school. Her sister kept the baby during the day. It was hard work for them to keep it together, but they did. They moved into a bigger house. About five years later, they welcomed a second child and one year after that, their third.

For our twenty year class reunion, (It was really 18, but that’s another story.) they invited a bunch of us girls, to stay at their new home, that they had just built. It was a gorgeous house in the country complete with a pool and pool house. Again, their families had helped them build it with the many skills that they had from carpentry to laying tile.

Their story is one of my favorite love stories for so many reasons. Yes, it’s a story of a boy and a girl who made difficult choices and made a commitment to stand by each other, for better or worse. They went on to make a beautiful life together and beautiful children against impossible odds. But, it’s also a story of the possibilities of what can happen when families pull together and support each other. It’s a story of two families who chose life and love too, although it must have been a difficult choice for them as well.

We have so many choices to make during our lifetimes. We make good ones and we make bad ones. Sometimes encouraging and supporting loved ones in their choices are the most important ones we ever make. I was thrilled to attend the high school graduation celebration of my friend’s first child. He has gone on to finish college and has become a delightful young man.

Now, I have been invited to attend the graduation celebration of her youngest child who is also going on to college. I am moved to tears at the enormity of it all. The impossibility of this story just proves that with enough commitment and perseverance, love will find a way and it’s beautiful.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Treasuring People this Busy Season

Posted on by Wendy

 

Don't forget to take time to treasure the gift of friendship this season.
Don’t forget to take time to treasure the gift of friendship this season.

As Christmas draws nearer, I seem to get busier. My kids will be out of school in a few more days, so their gifts need to be wrapped. They are teenagers now (almost) and it’s not like I can put them to bed anymore and get things accomplished while they sleep. More often than not, they stay up later than I do.

Not that I’m complaining, for all of the bad rap that teenagers get (and much is deserved), it’s really cool to be able to watch t.v. together and all enjoy it. We love to watch the Voice each week and we all have our favorite contestant and we were all laughing out loud last week as we watched Christmas Vacation on cable.

The only thing certain about life is that it changes and if we are smart, we can find something to appreciate about every season we are in without holding on too tightly, for this one won’t last long either.

As I was desperately trying to get some gifts wrapped, my phone rang and it was one of my dearest friends saying that a song she just heard, had reminded her of a high school friend of ours, who has recently passed away. That made her think of high school and me and she decided to call. Her ringtone is the Kiss song, “I Wanna Rock & Roll all Night,” so I knew immediately is was her.

We chatted for a few minutes, getting caught up and talked about our holiday plans. I told her I had hoped to get together for coffee before the kids were out, but had waited too late to make that happen. She thought for a minute and said she had Thursday morning free and as it turns out I do too.

I mean, I have a ton of stuff to do. I need to clean my house. The dust tumbleweeds are rolling across the floors at this point. I have a ton of company coming in for Christmas and my ceiling fan blades need dusting. (Does everyone else’s fans get dusty like mine?) Toilets need scrubbing. I need to go Christmas grocery shopping. I could go on, but you get the picture.

But, here’s the deal; I have the opportunity to get together for a little while with someone I hold dear and have a cup of coffee and a real face-to-face conversation. I have come to a point in my life that I realize that these moments are precious and quite frankly, almost a sin not to treasure.

When God gives us the gift of special people who love us no matter what, we honor Him by treasuring them. So, the dust bunnies will just have to wait while I intentionally hold close the people who matter most this busy season. Care to join me? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

Allowing Others to Serve

Posted on by Wendy
Friendship is as always as beautiful as fresh snow.
Friendship is always as beautiful as fresh snow.

Our washing machine died this weekend. It’s been limping for awhile, but the spin cycle finally stopped working completely and you know what happens then. The clothes come out literally dripping. I would have to go through three dryer cycles to get them dry.

Of course, this is the absolute worse time of the year to have to replace a major appliance. Furthermore, I had saved almost a week’s worth of laundry for the weekend, so there were piles in the laundry room as tall as I am. I had a ton of errands planned, so the last thing I wanted to do was shop for a new washing machine.

But, shop we did. We went to Lowe’s and found a set on sale, still ridiculously high, in my opinion. Although they offer next day delivery, they were booked due to Christmas, so they couldn’t deliver it until Monday afternoon. I kind of sulked on the way home at the inconvenience of it all. I realized that I would have to call a friend and ask her if I could do a load of laundry at her house.

Now, I love to offer help, but I hate to ask for it. I don’t know why. It’s pride I suppose. I just really like to feel completely self-sufficient. No one can live their life that way. We are not set up that way. We were created for community. We are supposed to depend on one another. It’s part of our design.

I called a friend as soon as we got home to ask the favor. She didn’t hesitate. Of course it was okay that I needed to use her washer. She had her own errands and crazy schedule and she wasn’t sure she would be around, but she would be happy to leave me a key.

Just like that, no questions were asked. It struck me at that moment that as much as I like to help others, they probably get the same enjoyment out of helping me. If I never ask for help, then I am depriving them of a chance to serve. Pride made the list of Seven Deadly Sins. I think I should probably work on that.

It turned out that she was home on Sunday afternoon and she made me a cup of coffee. We spent an hour or so catching up. It was relaxing and fun and needed. Sure, I had a bunch to do, but I’m working on putting people, not things first.

As I watch for God this season, I so often find Him, in the faces of friends who I have known for years. While I can’t say I’m happy about the washing machine dying, I can say that the entire incident has made me even more thankful for friendship. It has also made me ask myself how I am doing at allowing others to serve me. How about you? How are you doing? Feel free to share.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

An Evening With Old Friends

Posted on by Wendy
Visiting with old friends is like a day at the beach!
Visiting with old friends is like a day at the beach!

I just had the delightful experience of spending an evening with some of my oldest friends. I have known these ladies for over twenty years. Most of us went to middle school and high school together. One of the joys of growing up in a small town, is that you know just about everybody. Not only do you know everyone, you know their parents, grandparents and siblings. You know their back story and they know yours.

We did a lot of reminiscing. We talked about our favorite high school teachers. We talked about high school crushes and old boyfriends. We talked about high school pranks and shenanigans. We talked about our parents and what they did and didn’t know about the things we used to do. We talked about the horrors of riding the school bus.

We talked about our children and husbands and shared tons of pictures with each other. We posed for pictures on Instagram like a bunch of high school kids. We laughed and laughed until our sides hurt.

We shared stories of health issues that our parents are facing. We shared our own stories of the inevitable pitfalls that occur after turning forty. We have hormonal issues and weight gain. We have worries and wrinkles, but we also have wisdom.

We are all artists now in some way. We have a jewelry maker and two painters. We have homemakers and some awesome mothers. We all are creating beauty in the lives around us.

We grew up in a college town, and as we looked at all of the college students who were standing around, we all grumbled a little about feeling old. But, as I looked at those college kids,  I have to say, I felt gratitude for my forty-something trips around the sun. Sure, it would be nice to be carefree and wrinkle free again, but it feels pretty good to be comfortable in my wrinkled skin and to know who I am and what I believe.

And truthfully, as I look in the mirror these days at my brown spots and wrinkles, I try to ask myself, if I could trade all of those days lying in the sun with these girls for perfect, flawless skin, would I trade? The answer is an unequivocal, no. I have earned all of these crow’s feet and boy, was it fun!

I am very busy these days, just like everyone else. I had a hundred reasons why I didn’t have time to make the trip to Milledgeville for a visit, but I said yes. I had an aunt who died many years ago, of breast cancer. She always said that if a friend called her to do something fun, she went. She said the mop bucket would be there when she got back. Those were wise words.

Visiting with old friends is like a trip to the beach. It’s fun and refreshing and you can’t wait to go back. They “get you” like no one else can and that is priceless. I am going to make it a point to say “yes,” when friends call, because friends are one of life’s greatest blessings and enjoying them is a way of saying thanks to the One who gave them to us. What do you think? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

Who are Your cheerleaders?

Posted on by Wendy

I was a cheerleader in high school. It wasn’t because that was what the popular kids did or anything as shallow as that. I was a cheerleader because it was what I was good at doing. I tried basketball and probably played a total of two minutes the entire season. I was terrible at it. I tried running track and pulled a hamstring like the second or third practice and was out for the season. I even attempted to play tennis, but my hand-eye coordination wasn’t very good. Turns out that I liked jumping up and down and cheering others on.

As much as we love to make fun of the cheerleader type, you know what I mean, the popular, snotty girls, when I look back over my life, I am really grateful for my cheerleaders. Think about the people who have always encouraged you to keep going or who believed in you or in an idea you had. Those are your cheerleaders. My mom has always been my loudest cheerleader. She has always been ready to cheer me on to victory whether it was for cheering tryouts in high school or deciding to go away to college. She has always read just about everything I have written and has always encouraged me to keep going.

That’s really what cheerleading is; it’s encouraging. Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” I think we are supposed to encourage one another to help each other reach our full, God-given potential. I had a high school English teacher, Nancy Kennedy, who always encouraged me to write and I think of her every time I sit at a keyboard. I have had many encouragers along the way and I try to be an encourager myself.

I try to go out of my way to tell my kids that I am proud of them or the kids that I’m subbing for that their work looks good. Children will bloom right before your eyes with the right encouragement, but adults will too. I once interviewed this woman for an industrial type job and I asked her why she had never considered office work; she looked at me without hesitation and told me that she never thought she was “good enough” for office work. While I was stunned at her revelation, I told her  I disagreed with her. You wouldn’t believe how much taller she sat up in her chair. A little encouragement can go a long way.

I think Jesus, was the best example of encouragement that we will ever have. I love the story of him walking on water. Peter sees him and I picture him bouncing up and down in the boat like a child, “let me walk on water too!” Jesus tells him to come. Now you know Jesus knows, he’s going to get scared and sink, which of course he does, but he encourages him to come anyway; just like we encourage our own kids to ride their bikes without training wheels, even though we know they will likely fall. Why do we do that? We do it for the same reason Jesus did it; riding a bike takes practice, just like fearless faith takes practice. Even though Jesus knew Peter’s faith would fail him, he encouraged him to try, and then reached out for him and saved him as he started to sink. Jesus’ belief in Peter’s faith did pay off in the end.

Today, I am going to think of some of the people in my life who have offered me much-needed encouragement on my way, my journey cheerleaders of sorts. I’m going to say a special prayer of thanks for them and then I am going to try to thank at least a few of them with an e-mail or a call. Next, I’m going to find at least one person who I can cheer for today. What about you? Care to join me? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Faithful Friends

Posted on by Wendy

The text read, “Please say a prayer for me. Unspoken…I know I need a prayer warrior right now. Thank you.” That was it. I had no further details. It came from a friend of mine with a really stressful, busy job who never texts me during the day. Of course, I was in a place where I could immediately give my full attention to her request for prayer. (and no, I don’t believe for a moment that was a coincidence; I have come to believe there are no coincidences where God is involved) I found myself praying for her when I had a quiet moment all through that day. I still don’t know what her specific need was and it really doesn’t matter. She asked for prayer at that moment and I prayed for her.

That seems like an awfully simple way to help someone doesn’t it? The Bible has a fabulous story about how Jesus recognizes and rewards the faith of friends. In Mark 2:2-5, Jesus is talking to a group of people which as was most often the case when he was speaking, had turned into a huge crowd. The house was literally packed and no other people could get inside. There were four men carrying a fifth man on a mat who was paralyzed. They had brought him to see Jesus because they believed he could heal him. The room was so packed that they dug a hole in the roof and lowered him through it. These guys were determined to see Jesus that day no matter what.

Try picturing this scene, wall to wall people, the son of God is speaking. There is a whole menagerie of humanity there from everyday town folk to teachers of religious law, likely ranging from the most educated to the least. All of a sudden, a hole is cut in the roof above where Jesus is standing and man is lowered through it who can’t walk. I picture Jesus stopping and looking up and silence following as they lower this man to the floor. The text says they lowered the mat right in front of Jesus. What does Jesus say? Is he shocked? Is he outraged at being interrupted ? Nope. The scripture says, “Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child your sins are forgiven.” Further down in verse 11, he says, “Stand up, pick up your mat and go home.”  The man does exactly that.

Jesus performed many miracles while he was on earth. I think he healed people because he loved people, all people. But, what makes this particular miracle unique, is he saw the faith of the man’s friends and rewarded him because of their faith. The story tells us nothing about the paralyzed man’s faith. This is really comforting when I think about the times I have asked for prayer from friends. I got another text last week from another friend who I asked to pray for me. It simply said, “I hope spirit week is going okay, prayers for my sweet CC and her momma too. Hugs.” I shared on Monday’s blog how I felt God’s hand all over me last weekend. Was it perhaps due to the prayers of a friend in addition to my own?

I will probably not get the answer to that one this side of heaven and that’s okay. But, I’m really starting to see the value of these prayer texts. Whether they are asking for prayer from me or letting me know they are praying for me, they allow me to feel closer to Jesus and we know from the friends story in the Gospel of  Mark that Jesus clearly values the faith of friends. I’m going to try to be more diligent about letting friends know I am praying for them. Text seems the perfect way to do it. Using technology for Jesus is just one more way to throw a pebble and watch the waves.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂