Category: Friendship

Good friends are one of life’s greatest blessings. It’s so important to value our friends and to be thankful for them.

Called to Bear Witness

Posted on by Wendy
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Last week was a rough week for my family. We lost our 14 year old dog, Sandy to a stroke. I suspected that his time was growing short, but his passing still caught me by surprise. When my children were in school, he was my constant companion. When I worked from home for a year during Covid, he was always on his bed next to my desk. He had been a big part of my life for a long time.

I almost didn’t write a post this week because it’s just been a depressing week, but then my daily devotion changed my mind. I’m reading Acts and Paul was sharing what he knew about Jesus. The writer of that day’s devotion said, ” Like Paul, we are also called to bear witness to what we’ve seen. What have you seen today that speaks of God? What have you seen that you can share with others?”

I felt convicted.

While it had been a hard week, I was thankful for all of the years we had with Sandy. He literally showed up at our house and brought my family so much joy and I caught a glimpse of God.

This week, when we had to take him to the vet, one of my sweet co-workers texted me to see how I was doing and I saw God. The next day at work when another sweet co-worker emailed me and told me she had been praying for me, I saw God and when she came to my office just to give me a hug, I saw God again.

When our newest edition, Annie, met me at the door after work, wagging her tail, and bouncing up and down with pure puppy joy, I saw God once again and I was completely humbled by the fact that He knew a month ago, when we decided to adopt her, that Sandy was going to be passing. He knew our hearts would be broken and He knew she would bring us comfort.

As I was walking at work the next day, I couldn’t help but be in awe of fall the leaves on trees. The seasons are changing and we are entering into a season of Thanksgiving and even though I feel a little raw, I am thankful, thankful that God made dogs, thankful that He made Sandy, thankful that He sent us Annie and especially thankful for the friends and family that He has surrounded me with who regularly show His love and grace.

To answer the earlier question, even in a particularly painful week, I saw tons of examples of God’s presence and in the end, I felt called to share.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Finding the Beauty in the Mess

Posted on by Wendy
Relationships can be messy like the trees, but so worth it.

Last weekend, I did some much needed yard work. I had lots of sticks and small limbs to get out of my backyard and I finally had a spare Saturday to devote to it. We are surrounded by old hardwoods, so whenever we get a fair amount of wind, we have sticks, acorns and leaves everywhere. They litter the deck and the yard and leave a bit of a mess.

In the almost fifteen years we have lived here, I have come to love these majestic trees. They provide much needed shade from the oppressive Georgia heat in the summer and spectacular art in the fall. In the spring, they provide a picture of hope as they burst back to life, that just happens to coincide with Easter. They provide homes and food to countless critters and I have spent hours and hours throughout my time living here, watching and listening to the birds and squirrels. From time to time, I’ve even been blessed to catch a glimpse of a hawk or an owl landing on one of the limbs.

These trees have definitely provided me with a lot of joy over the years, but they are messy.

Every rain storm results in a mess and those beautiful leaves in the fall, eventually result in hours of raking and hauling and often a blister or two for me. The deck and driveway have to be cleared regularly because leaves are surprisingly slick when they get wet. And in case you have ever wondered, acorns are like tiny bombs when they fall out of the trees and they hurt when they land on your head.

I was contemplating the messy trees as I was throwing sticks over the fence and I thought about how are human relationships are a lot my big old trees. Good ones provide us shade and refuge, from a world that too often is loud and harsh. There’s nothing like leaning into a good friend when we need to talk or just simple understanding. The best ones provide us art too and add lots of color in our lives through laughter and good times spent together. Friendships can provide hope like the leaves in spring when we are living through a barren season. They can provide homes for our dreams to grow and live as they cheer us on and encourage us.

Why wouldn’t we seek out friendships?

Because like those trees, they can be messy too. We sometimes have misunderstandings. We sometimes say things we don’t mean. Humans tend to be selfish and we sometimes put ourselves before the ones we hold dear which can result in hurt feelings. Anyone who has traveled around the sun enough times has experienced some type of hurt from a relationship.

There are even those who decide that relationships really just aren’t worth the cost. They have been hurt one too many times and are done with the mess.

The current pandemic the world is still facing may serve to strengthen their resolve. Maybe staying apart is best.

But, as I toss yet another limb over the fence and look at the still green leaves that are gracing the trees, I know that a spectacular show is on the way and I know that the beauty is worth the mess and the same is true with the people in our lives.

While 2020 has robbed us of much, may we be encouraged to fight for the relationships we hold dear, mess and all, remembering that friendship is a gift from God. Some fallen limbs reminded me. Perhaps you needed reminding too.

Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂

The Gift of Empathy

Posted on by Wendy
Sometimes the smallest amount of light can make all of the difference.

I received a text early one morning last week, that my co-worker had an ear ache. She was in lots of pain and was going to the doctor. I felt horrible for her. I had frequent ear infections as a child. They were terribly painful. I can remember doctor visits, ear drops and yucky pink medicine. I can remember my Mama rocking me in the middle of the night to try to soothe the pain and comfort me.

Those long nights as a child, have given me deep empathy for someone suffering from ear pain.

As an adult, I have come to see empathy as a gift that comes from personal circumstances and sometimes suffering, that can turn into deep, heartfelt encouragement for others in similar situations.

Have you ever noticed that some of the people who shine the brightest light have been through some really dark times? Those who have been through deep personal turmoil and called out to God and walked out on the other side, not only have a story to share, but they have a unique empathy because they have been there. They truly understand.

That’s why mommy groups, cancer survivor groups and groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, work so well.

There will always be suffering and turmoil on this side of Eternity. We can spend our time shaking our fists at the sky and ask, “Why me?” or we can call out to God and reach out to others who have been there. We can receive comfort and encouragement from both.

When we get through it, we have two choices. We can harden our hearts and close that door and lock it tightly. We can become angry and bitter or we can allow it to change us in a good way. We can allow our suffering to be used to help others in similar circumstances. We can become a blessing to those in need. We can listen, encourage and offer comfort and understanding. We can offer witness that God is still in charge and still good.

We can shine a brighter light than ever before because in the end, the darkness does not win. Light will always be triumphant. A text from a friend reminded me. Perhaps you needed reminding too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Friendship Blessings

Posted on by Wendy
True friendship with deep roots, is one of God’s greatest gifts.

Last weekend I attended my 30th high school reunion. I had a wonderful time reminiscing with old friends. It was a small school and so we all knew each other. Two other former classmates and I, spent the weekend at one of my high school bestie’s houses and it was just like old times.

We laughed and picked at each other. We looked at old pictures. We retold old stories and shared new ones. Those girls were some of my closest friends way back when and we were there for each other for everything from learning to drive to breaking up with boyfriends. We have all cried on each other’s shoulder and laughed until our sides hurt.

We were always good at supporting each other all of those years ago. We haven’t seen very much of each other through the years, but we have kept in touch. Our lives have taken us in different directions to different towns.

As for me, I have a senior in high school and my nest is about to be empty. I have spent a fair amount of time in prayer about what my next chapter will be.

I was not surprised to find that God is always listening and always working.

One of my friends has a newly empty nest and she’s struggling a little with her next chapter.

One of my friends has a teenager at home and is struggling a little with, well, raising a teenager.

One of my friends, has three grown kids. Her baby is about to graduate from college. I had the privilege of spending time with her youngest child and her middle child. They were awesome, grown up and funny and I had a ball hanging out with them.

My friend has raised wonderful human beings who I would want to have as friends and neighbors. She offered two of us advice and so much encouragement about our empty nest chapter and then provided us with concrete proof in her own adult children.

The three of us were able to encourage our friend with a young teenager. Boy, those years can be tough, but they will pass. We know, because we’ve been there.

I really hated for the weekend to end, but even though I didn’t get enough sleep, I felt more refreshed than tired. On my drive home, I marveled at how God knew over 30 years ago, when He wove our friendship together, that we would come together now and support each other and laugh together once again, like when we were teenagers ourselves.

I still don’t know what the next chapter holds, but last weekend reminded me that I had no idea what the future would look like 30 years ago either and it turned out just fine. God was at work then and He’s still working. He has sent some of life’s greatest blessings to walk with us along our journey here.

They are called friends and I’m so very thankful for them. A class reunion reminded me. Perhaps you need reminding too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Iris Inspiration

Posted on by Wendy
Love always remains.

Yesterday after work, I was standing at my kitchen sink, rinsing some dishes, when a glimpse of yellow caught my eye. As I took a closer look, I could see that my yellow irises were blooming. I was thrilled and I rushed outside to examine them and snap some photos.

Yellow irises blooming in the spring time may not seem like anything special, but those particular yellow irises have a history, and hold some wonderful memories for me.

My maternal grandmother died the month before I was born, so I never got to know her. My granddaddy later met a woman everyone called Kittie. Although she wasn’t related to me by blood, she became a grandmother to me. She had no children of her own, but she and I formed a bond that lasted until God called her home.

She and I exchanged letters every week when I was in college and I would visit her when I went home. She was at my high school graduation and was seated as my grandmother at my wedding. She was one of the first people to visit when my babies were born.

She loved to grow things, but irises were her favorite. She entered different varieties every year in a flower show. She would sometimes lament that a cold snap killed her best ones. But, one year, one of her yellow ones, named, Money, won the prize. She was so proud and I was thrilled for her.

After she passed, I was visiting with her sister and I asked her if she minded if I dug up some of Kittie’s irises to plant at my house. She readily agreed and I drug my hubby and a shovel, over to the very overgrown yard. We had no idea what types we were digging up because they were way past blooming.

We took them home and planted them and to my dismay, they didn’t bloom the following spring. I bought a little cat with angel wings that reminded me of her and placed it in the bed. The next spring, just in time for my birthday, the irises bloomed and to my delight, the were the Money, variety.

It was if I had received a birthday gift from heaven. So, yesterday, when I saw that Money, was once again blooming, I dropped everything and went to take a picture and to give thanks that even thought those we hold dear are sometimes no longer with us physically, their love remains with us forever.

Some yellow irises reminded me that when it’s our time to go, we can’t choose what we take with us, but we can choose what we leave behind. Those irises inspire me to leave as much love and beauty in my wake as I possibly can. Perhaps you needed reminding today too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Change Helpers

Posted on by Wendy
The extra hour of light is always worth it.

Last Saturday night, we did the yearly change from standard time to daylight savings. We sprang forward an hour and in the process, gave ourselves an extra hour of daylight.

I really love that extra hour. It gives me more time to exercise or work outside. It signals that summer is coming and the days are growing longer. I prefer longer daylight and less darkness. I suppose we are wired to seek the light.

But, there’s a trade off. For about a week after the adjustment, I’m exhausted. That extra hour of light, cost me an hour of sleep. I work in an elementary school. The kids will be tired and cranky for a week and the adults will feel the same.

Isn’t it amazing how just one hour, sixty little minutes, can throw us for such a loop?

But, it does. Human beings are creatures of habit. It’s so very easy for us to become entrenched in where we are and what we are doing even when it’s bad for us. Most of us, including myself, tend to be very resistant to change, even if it’s for our own good. Think: taking up exercise, eating more healthy, going to bed earlier, putting down the electronics It could even be more serious things like closing the door on a bad habit or an unhealthy relationship.

We may start something new with good intentions, but a few days into it, like Wednesday after Daylight Savings Time, we are bleary eyed and ready to give up.

I think the key may be to take a friend or two on the journey to change. Good friends can both cheer us on and call us out, at appropriate times. Good friends can help us remember why we wanted or needed to change in the first place. Good friends can be both hand-holders and drill sergeants.

Change is hard even when it’s for the best and let’s face it, the human will is weak. But, it’s often necessary for our growth. So, if a change is what you need, say a prayer, always the best way to start, and grab a friend to help you along. And to quote Dr. Seuss, “And will you succeed? Yes you will indeed! 98 3/4 per cent guaranteed.”

Daylight Savings Time reminded me about the difficulty, but also the beauty of change. Perhaps you needed reminding too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Faith Family Reflections

Posted on by Wendy
Christian community helps us shine our light brighter.

Last October Hurricane Matthew hit the United States. South Carolina incurred a lot of damage. I remember being incredibly worried about my friends there, or as they say, friends who have become family.

My daughter attended a Salkehatchie mission trip in South Carolina four years ago. The following year, she wasn’t going to attend. There were some financial considerations. We had changed churches and she kept trying to back out, but God clearly wanted her there. Forces beyond her kept pulling and not only did she attend, I went too.

It was life changing for me and the next two years, our entire family of four went. The people there have become part of our faith family and they are very dear to us. So when Hurricane Matthew came through, I reached out to them and told them they were in our prayers.

I diligently prayed for them as well as for the people who’s homes we had worked on together. I even got a special, specific prayer request from one of them and I prayed without ceasing. They all ended up being okay. No one was hurt and they didn’t even have much property damage. I celebrated their blessings with them.

This year, as Hurricane Irma headed towards Georgia, I got a text from one of them offering us a place to stay if we needed to evacuate. She said her home was open to us. The next day, I got a Facebook message from someone else telling me he was thinking about my family and praying for us. I fought tears as I shared it with my family. That night, someone else put out a prayer request on the group Facebook page asking for prayers for their Georgia Family. We truly felt covered in prayer as yet another person offered us a place to stay if we needed it and told me to bring my parents too.

I can never express how strongly I believe in the power and importance of prayer. I can also never truly show my gratitude for the faith family that God has blessed me with or to that faith family for prayer when I desperately need it.

Christ-centered friendships are different. They are special and they are blessed. We need Christian community. It makes us stronger people. It makes us better people. It makes our light shine brighter. It makes us more effective Kingdom Builders.

Isn’t that something we all should want?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Honoring Life’s Mothers

Posted on by Wendy
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday is Mother’s Day and thanks to the commercial world we live in, there’s a great push to buy the mothers in our lives everything from cards and flowers to diamond jewelry and days at the spa. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving tokens of thanks to the moms in our lives who we have been blessed with, but I think we should all go a little deeper on Mother’s Day.

Most women have been a mom in some way, shape or form in their lifetimes, even if they didn’t physically give birth to a child. Women tend to be natural nurturers. God made us that way, so most women mentor or mother many people during their lives who don’t share their DNA.

Sometimes our need to create life even takes the form of creating charities or writing books or movies that change people’s lives in some way. Creating and nurturing is something most women do well, which is not surprising, when we remember how creative our Creator is.

I think Mother’s Day is the perfect day to celebrate the women in our lives who have helped us along our journey. We should definitely celebrate the women who gave us physical life, but it’s a great time to remember all the ladies who have mothered us along the way.

It’s a great day to say a prayer of thanks for all of the mamas out there who make a huge contribution to the world we live in through the children they raise. It’s also a great day to remember those who are mourning the loss of their own mothers or those who may be mourning the loss of a child. We can pray for grace and comfort for those who mourn. The Bible tells us, they will be blessed and comforted.

I’m very grateful for my mama and all she’s done for me and I’m grateful for all those women who have mothered me along the way. I’d like to wish all the mamas out there a Happy Mother’s Day. You are all truly a blessing from God.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Pick a Date and Time

Posted on by Wendy
Sometimes we have to intentionally create space for friendship.
Sometimes we have to intentionally create space for friendship.

I got a text last week from a dear friend of mind. She is one of those heart sisters who I met in church many years ago. Have you ever met someone who you just hit it off with immediately? It was like I had known her my whole life. We had the same high school experiences. We liked the same music. We had the same ideas about raising kids. We viewed life the same way. When she told me her husband was being transferred to Wisconsin, I was devastated. We promised to keep in touch.

We kept our promise for several years. We talked on the phone regularly. Her hubby brought her back here to celebrate her surprise 40th birthday party. When they moved again, this time to Raleigh, North Carolina, we went for a visit. We talked about getting together again. Life got busier and we talked less. We started playing phone tag more than talking. We became Facebook friends and we kept up that way.

But, last week, she had talked to a mutual friend of ours that made her think of me and she sent me a text that said: “I need some Wendy time. I want to catch up. What does your calendar look like this week?” I was thrilled. I missed her too. I texted her immediately and we set up a time and a contingency time. I got called into work on the original time, so we went with the contingency.

On Friday morning, my kids had the day off from school. I made a cup of coffee, went out to my porch and called my old friend. We talked for and hour-and-a-half and got caught up. It was fabulous. It was like it’s always been between us; we just picked right up. We promised not to go so long next time and to set up another date soon.

I thought about our conversation all weekend and the gift of friendship. Life is busy. It will likely always be busy. My parents are busier now since they have both retired, than they ever were before. So those of us still raising kids and all that entails and working too, can’t just hope that someday life will slow down. I don’t know that it ever really slows down. We just become a different kind of busy, which is okay. It’s good to be involved and busy.

But, maybe we should step back from time-to-time and reflect on the people who are special to us and make time to connect. If they are close by, then even if it’s every couple of months, try to set up coffee or lunch or dinner. If they are far away, set up a time to talk. Don’t settle for text, Facebook or phone tag. Make an appointment to talk and keep it.

There’s something about the human voice and its inflection and conversation that can never be truly communicated through e-mail, Facebook or text. Social media can be a great way to keep up, but to stay truly involved, we need to talk to one another, something that’s sadly lacking in many of today’s relationships.

Most of us have been blessed with beautiful friendships, but what we never have enough of, is time. I think that we need to intentionally create some space to keep up with those we hold dear. I think it honors our friendships and it honors God, who gave them to us. I don’t want to miss any of the blessings that come from friendship, by being too busy. I’m so glad she reached out. I’m going to really try and do better with keeping up. Care to join me?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Sharing Light

Posted on by Wendy
Ever notice how precious the light is when you are feeling lost?
Ever notice how precious the light is when you are feeling lost?

On a recent walk that I took, I couldn’t help but notice that the light was particularly stunning. Maybe it was because it was a perfect fall day or maybe it was because I was feeling really down. Since I’m normally a very happy and enthusiastic person, being down is quite tough on me.

But, I found unique and beautiful light in every photo I snapped that day. Even the shadows turned out to be cool and interesting. Now, I’m no photographer, but I do know that light is very important when taking photos. I also know that when I truly seek light, I usually find it and that day was no exception.

I find that light is very important in life as well. We all have the opportunity to be a light to someone who may be in a moment or even a season of darkness. From little e-mails or short texts to quick notes on Facebook. In the age of technology, it really doesn’t take a lot of effort to provide some light for a friend. I know for me, quick little notes of support mean the world and I have been blessed with lots of friends who generously send them.

I had someone tell me today that she had me on her mind all weekend. Have you ever had someone on your mind for no reason at all? I have found that there really is a reason and it’s usually good to touch base with that person. God has a way of interconnecting us with one another and so often we know just the right thing to say to that person on our minds.

We have to be careful to take quiet time and be in regular prayer so that we don’t miss an opportunity to reach out. When we get an urge to call or contact someone, who may need a little encouragement or perhaps an ear, we need to just do it. These are little acts of obedience that not only help us to help each other, but also allow us to grow closer to God and align with His will.

I find when I’m obedient with the small nudges, like sending someone a note or calling them, I start to feel more in tune with larger nudges and callings.

I suppose it’s like the parable of talents in Matthew 25. Two of the servants who were given talents or coins, who went and did something productive with them, were rewarded. “His master replied, ‘Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!'” Matthew 25:21

Don’t we all want to be the good and faithful servant? There are many ways to share faith, to share the love of God, to share the grace of Jesus. But, something super easy is to share some light. So next time you feel the urge, send the note or make the call. I’m trying to be really good at doing that, because the other day, when I was down, I felt the love and light of friends in a flood and it was awesome. God is good!

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂