Category: Community

We were meant to live in community with others. If we want to be part of a strong community sometimes we need to initiate.

A Valentine’s Day Celebration

Posted on by Wendy
There's more to Valentine's Day than hearts and flowers.
There’s more to Valentine’s Day than hearts and flowers.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Since I have a fourteen year old without a boyfriend, I’m keenly aware that it’s the world’s most romantic day in high school and she is single. (Her daddy is thrilled). Keep in mind, most of her friends are single too. In fact, four of her closest friends have planned a “Lonely Hearts Sleepover” at my house this evening.

I don’t know why there seems to be much less dating in high school these days. I place part of the blame on our friends at Disney. Their whole lives, these girls have had Ariel and Belle and Prince Charming. Let’s face it, Prince Charming is difficult to find as an adult, but in high school he’s awfully close to nonexistent. That, along with the fact that texting has completely replaced talking and boys and girls don’t know how to talk to each other anymore, in my mind, has created the perfect storm of non-dating, unrealistic expectations along with no communication.

Whatever the reasons, I am hosting five, delightful, single girls this evening. They have each agreed among themselves to bring chocolate, sour treats, salty snacks etc… They are each bringing a movie to watch and will likely stay up most of the night talking and laughing.

I wish I could make my daughter understand the importance of these evenings. She and her friends have forged together a little community that started back in middle school. Boys will come and go, but these friendships have the potential to be lifelong.

Some of my closest friendships were built in high school. Just a few months ago, I got together with some of these girls and talked about old times like they were yesterday. We laughed like the girls who will sleep in my basement tonight.

An internet search for the word love in the Bible turned up 551 times in the NIV version. There are so many different kinds of love. Romantic love is just one kind and the one that gets all of the press on Valentine’s Day. But, the love present in community is a beautiful thing on its own.

My daughter is too young yet to understand the life-sustaining support that community can offer. Friendship is one of God’s most beautiful gifts. Tonight, she will be making memories that she will probably be laughing about twenty years from now, even if she doesn’t know it at the moment.

She has a ton of Valentine’s Days ahead of her, but these high school years are short and friendships are special. So, we will order pizza, close the basement door and let the giggling begin. I hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day and celebrate it in a way significant to you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

A Love Story

Posted on by Wendy
Like this flower, a happy ending can always brighten your day.
Like this flower, a happy ending can always brighten your day.

I got a text yesterday from one of my high school friends, inviting me to a graduation party for her daughter. I think I must have gasped audibly when I read it because the man sitting across the room from me looked up from his phone. This child who is graduating from high school is her baby.

Let me give you a little background here. This friend is a part of one of my favorite love stories. She and her husband dated all through high school. The winter after high school, they announced a very quick wedding. We were all kind of stunned. I was away at college and couldn’t quite fathom it all. This was the late eighties. We had choices.

They made theirs. They chose life. They chose love. The support they got from their families was overwhelming. Let me tell you, it was amazing. They moved into a tiny house behind her grandmother’s house. Her parents and siblings and his parents painted it inside and out. They put in carpet and furniture. They made it a home.

They both worked and she had to quit school. Her sister kept the baby during the day. It was hard work for them to keep it together, but they did. They moved into a bigger house. About five years later, they welcomed a second child and one year after that, their third.

For our twenty year class reunion, (It was really 18, but that’s another story.) they invited a bunch of us girls, to stay at their new home, that they had just built. It was a gorgeous house in the country complete with a pool and pool house. Again, their families had helped them build it with the many skills that they had from carpentry to laying tile.

Their story is one of my favorite love stories for so many reasons. Yes, it’s a story of a boy and a girl who made difficult choices and made a commitment to stand by each other, for better or worse. They went on to make a beautiful life together and beautiful children against impossible odds. But, it’s also a story of the possibilities of what can happen when families pull together and support each other. It’s a story of two families who chose life and love too, although it must have been a difficult choice for them as well.

We have so many choices to make during our lifetimes. We make good ones and we make bad ones. Sometimes encouraging and supporting loved ones in their choices are the most important ones we ever make. I was thrilled to attend the high school graduation celebration of my friend’s first child. He has gone on to finish college and has become a delightful young man.

Now, I have been invited to attend the graduation celebration of her youngest child who is also going on to college. I am moved to tears at the enormity of it all. The impossibility of this story just proves that with enough commitment and perseverance, love will find a way and it’s beautiful.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

What Would You Change?

Posted on by Wendy
Everyday is a new chance to make a difference.
Everyday is a new chance to make a difference.

I was telling my hubby last night about an e-mail I received from the high school about after-prom. After-prom is the after dance party that the two local high schools put on together. They lock the kids in all night with movies, snacks, games, bounce houses and lots of supervision. Well apparently,this year, after eleven successful years, there are so few volunteers, they may have to cancel the event.

They are really trying to get freshmen and sophomore parents to “step up” and help out. Keep in mind, our children are not even allowed to attend until they are juniors. To be honest, I was quite annoyed with the entire suggestion. Where are the junior and senior parents in two whole high schools? Is it really up to the parents of the underclassmen to keep this program in existence?

My husband simply replied, “So, it’s like that everywhere. It’s not just church.”

I was silent for a moment. He was absolutely right. We are very involved with our church. If our children are involved in it, we feel like it’s our responsibility to be involved as well. We have had conversation after conversation about figuring out how to stop the “drop off” mentality.

We wonder why it is that parents will help kids with school homework or sports practice, but what is it about our children’s Christian education that people just let go? They just drop them off and assume someone else will teach them or feed them or chaperone their events.

But, my hubby opened my eyes a little. As human beings, we always assume someone else will do it. Unfortunately, we are wrong.

Mahatma Gandhi one said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” That has become my new mantra. If you don’t like how a program at church is being run, don’t complain; volunteer, roll up you sleeves and change it. If you do like how a program is being run, be sure to ask if they need help maintaining it. Very few wonderful programs from children’s church, to after-prom activities, run themselves.

In other words, don’t say, do. I started with my fourteen-year-old daughter who has been complaining about eating the same dinners week after week. (Even though she and her brother are the pickiest eaters on the planet.) I told her we would be happy to serve something else, but I needed suggestions. She e-mailed some to my husband. (Yes, she was sitting in the next room, gotta love Smart Phones!) “Not so fast!” we said. We wanted recipes too. She complied. Now, we are going to make her make a grocery list and go and buy the ingredients with us.

It’s a start. Would Jesus have changed the world if He never left the temple? Would the disciples have changed the world if they never left the room they were in at Pentecost? Would Paul have changed the world if he never left the house after he regained his sight?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, “No.” They all got out there and got dirty. Here’s my challenge, let’s look  around. What’s not working? Let’s roll up our sleeves and try to help fix it. Let’s be the change we seek. Who’s with me? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Faith and Religion

Posted on by Wendy
The water in this little creek will eventually end up in the ocean.
The water in this little creek will eventually end up in the ocean.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about the new church home her family has found. They feel very comfortable there and inspired and are excited about getting up to go to church on Sundays. The only drawback, is they can’t yet join as a family because her two teens were baptized as babies and not completely immersed.

We had a short discussion about one versus the other and it really struck me how sad it is when Christians get hung up on certain religious practices. I’m talking about things like whether you use grape juice or wine for communion and whether you have communion every Sunday or once a month or once a quarter. I’m thinking about things like whether you kneel at your pew or whether you do responsive readings. The kind of music that gets sung is another big bone of contention for many people.

When we get angry at fellow Christians about these kinds of things, I think the devil is delighted. If he can get Christians mad at each other, then there’s not room to do the work of the Holy Spirit.

Interestingly enough, even the earliest churches like the one in Corinth, that Paul helped to start, had new believers squabbling with one another. The Jewish converts fought with the Gentile converts on how much law the Gentiles should have to follow and about circumcision and about and about; the list is long. This is one more good reason why reading the Bible can be enlightening for us.

Arguments among Christians are nothing new and Paul found himself wearing a referee hat for a good amount of time. Jesus makes us passionate and that’s a good thing. The Book of Revelation even warns us about having “lukewarm” faith, but I think we should be careful about judging others in how they carry out their faith walk.

If we love God with all of our hearts and we read the Bible and follow its teachings, if we believe Jesus is our one and only savior and we pray and listen, I believe in my deepest soul, that we will be lead to where we need to worship. We will be planted in a community that is perfectly suited to our calling and for His purpose for us. When we get there, it’s up to us to grow and thrive and become part of the fabric that makes that particular community.

However, we should keep in mind that our next-door-neighbor may be lead to an entirely different place. And you know what? That’s okay. On that fabulous day when we are called home to live with Jesus forever, I can’t imagine there being a gatekeeper inquiring whether we were Baptist, Methodist, Roman Catholic, Presbyterian, etc….

No, if you are a believer and a follower, He’s going to say, “Welcome home faithful servant; we’re glad you are here.”

Isn’t that all that really matters? I’d love to know what you think. Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Learning to Go with It

Posted on by Wendy
When your heart and soul are calm, a little chaos is no big deal.
When your heart and soul are calm, a little chaos is no big deal.

If you read my post yesterday, then you know all about my rewarding Sabbath time yesterday. Interestingly, the calm I took the time for yesterday, prepared me for my chaotic morning today.

After I dropped my daughter at school, I was planning on coming home and doing some cleaning, which didn’t get done yesterday, some laundry, because it’s everyday, exercise, because it’s a new year and I’d like to be in better shape, work on a Wednesday night kids program for church and write for gracefulgaines.

My husband met me at the door and informed me that our neighbor’s alarm had been going off. That has never happened before and since she is one of the sweetest people on the planet, I sent him over to check it out. The alarm had stopped, but he went over. The house was locked up tight. I called her, but there was no answer. I was concerned, but I let it go. I said a prayer for her safety.

I put in a call to my mom to catch up and we talked for a little while about a recent death in the family. Then we talked about a dear friend of hers who has been diagnosed with cancer. We were talking about another friend of her’s whose husband has been put in hospice care, when the alarm went off again. Mom, ever the steel magnolia, told me I should hang up and investigate.

The alarm stopped again as I went across the street. I peaked in windows and saw nothing. The alarm went off again and I dialed 911. They asked me to wait for an officer to come. I did, although it took him quite awhile. He looked around and discovered there was no car in the garage, so I was relieved. He assured me I had done the right thing by calling. He left.

I finally sat down at my keyboard and my phone rang. It was my sweet neighbor who had been out and knew nothing about the alarm. I told her about all of the excitement and she thanked me for looking after her. She was going to call the alarm company and get it figured out. I was so thankful she was okay. I said a prayer of thanks.

I sat down once again at my keyboard. My phone rang. A very good friend of mine was having a moment. She never calls to complain or vent. She’s just not that way; but today, she needed an ear. I was happy to listen and I feel like she felt better when we hung up.

By this time, it was close to noon and I hand’t showered, cleaned, exercised or written anything. I marveled at how I wasn’t the least bit frazzled, although my entire plans for the day were shot. I was praying about it and I felt like God whispered to me, “It’s the Sabbath time.” I hadn’t done anything on “my list,” but I did everything on God’s for me for the morning. I loved everyone He put in my path and I just went with it. I felt calm and blessed.

I really do believe there’s something to this Sabbath time, especially if it means learning to do His will and not mine. What do you think? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Allowing Others to Serve

Posted on by Wendy
Friendship is as always as beautiful as fresh snow.
Friendship is always as beautiful as fresh snow.

Our washing machine died this weekend. It’s been limping for awhile, but the spin cycle finally stopped working completely and you know what happens then. The clothes come out literally dripping. I would have to go through three dryer cycles to get them dry.

Of course, this is the absolute worse time of the year to have to replace a major appliance. Furthermore, I had saved almost a week’s worth of laundry for the weekend, so there were piles in the laundry room as tall as I am. I had a ton of errands planned, so the last thing I wanted to do was shop for a new washing machine.

But, shop we did. We went to Lowe’s and found a set on sale, still ridiculously high, in my opinion. Although they offer next day delivery, they were booked due to Christmas, so they couldn’t deliver it until Monday afternoon. I kind of sulked on the way home at the inconvenience of it all. I realized that I would have to call a friend and ask her if I could do a load of laundry at her house.

Now, I love to offer help, but I hate to ask for it. I don’t know why. It’s pride I suppose. I just really like to feel completely self-sufficient. No one can live their life that way. We are not set up that way. We were created for community. We are supposed to depend on one another. It’s part of our design.

I called a friend as soon as we got home to ask the favor. She didn’t hesitate. Of course it was okay that I needed to use her washer. She had her own errands and crazy schedule and she wasn’t sure she would be around, but she would be happy to leave me a key.

Just like that, no questions were asked. It struck me at that moment that as much as I like to help others, they probably get the same enjoyment out of helping me. If I never ask for help, then I am depriving them of a chance to serve. Pride made the list of Seven Deadly Sins. I think I should probably work on that.

It turned out that she was home on Sunday afternoon and she made me a cup of coffee. We spent an hour or so catching up. It was relaxing and fun and needed. Sure, I had a bunch to do, but I’m working on putting people, not things first.

As I watch for God this season, I so often find Him, in the faces of friends who I have known for years. While I can’t say I’m happy about the washing machine dying, I can say that the entire incident has made me even more thankful for friendship. It has also made me ask myself how I am doing at allowing others to serve me. How about you? How are you doing? Feel free to share.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

A Parade Story

Posted on by Wendy
We didn't have a float this year, but we had a truck.
We didn’t have a float this year, but we had a truck.

This weekend, we had the Watkinsville Christmas Parade. It may not be the Macy’s Parade, but I’m here to tell you that our little Mayberryesque town, population 2,888,  turns out for a parade. Everyone with a John Deere tractor, plasters a big, red bow on it and drives it down Main Street. Seriously, there are usually close to a hundred entries. Everybody wants to be in the parade.

This year, no one in our church wanted to organize a float, so one of the members of an adult Sunday School class said he would drive his truck. I have walked in the parade, with our church for the past seven years, but I was really torn about walking this year. There are always so many beautiful floats and creative entries and I was really disappointed that we only had a truck. Furthermore, we were expecting rain.

When we first started participating, we filled up an entire float and had another thirty walkers or so. But, times are different now, and I just wasn’t sure about walking this year until I got a call from Anne, one of the members of our clergy. She was so excited that we were given the number 22 spot this year. Normally, we are way back in the eighties. Her enthusiasm was pretty contagious.

I had to admit to myself that I really do love that little parade. Getting to say Merry Christmas a thousand times and passing out candy to little kids is hard to beat. I decided to go.

When I arrived at the truck, it had the church banner on it. Then Anne had one of our youth to wind some beaded Christmas garland around the rack on the top. Meanwhile, one of our kids who we haven’t seen since the summer, showed up on his bike and after everyone hugged him, he quietly asked me if I thought he could ride his bike with us. I told him, “of course,” and we wound some garland around his handlebars and someone put some deer antlers on his helmet.

Three other boys decided they would like to be shepherds and so they put on shepherd costumes that Anne brought along just in case. We had eight or so people wearing reindeer antlers. We had a mom pulling a wagon and last, but not least the senior pastor, decked out in a Hawaiian shirt, was driving a dune buggy with a possum strapped to he hood. There were six people holding a red rope, wearing reindeer antlers, pulling the “dune buggy sleigh.” Did I mention there was a dog wearing Christmas attire and someone was playing a tambourine?

Dune buggy sleigh
Dune buggy sleigh

I hope you can picture this motley crew I have described, because as we started moving along the route, the craziness of our circus-like scene had me laughing so hard, I thought my sides would split. By the end, my stomach muscles felt like I had been doing sit ups. We were surrounded by so many lovely and well put together floats and we were, well, we were material for Jeff Foxworthy stand up.

Two of our three shepherds
Two of our three shepherds

I mean, if anyone ever said they were uncomfortable walking into a church of perfect people, then we were able to allay those fears. All we needed was a clown and a bearded lady. But, you know what? I could see Jesus in all of those fellow church members as we walked together  shoulder to shoulder. We have been through a lot together. We have celebrated births and mourned deaths together. We have taken each other meals and fed each other physically and spiritually. Walking with them was a blessing.

It really struck me that it isn’t about the what. It’s about the who, the who I was walking with that matters, not the what we were walking behind. Most importantly, it’s the who we serve. God doesn’t ask for perfect. He just asks us to give what we have and He will do the rest. I am intentionally looking for God this Advent Season and He was with us on Saturday; I have no doubt about it, and I suspect He was smiling; I know I was.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

If I Were Her, I Would….

Posted on by Wendy
Wouldn't it be nice if life came with clearly written signs?
Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with clearly written signs?

We have all done it. I’m just as guilty as the next person. When something bad happens to someone we know, we say something like, “If I were her, I’d leave him.” or “If my child did that I would…”

Whether we hear about someone’s spouse being unfaithful or someone’s child cheating on a test, we all are very quick to interject what we would do in that situation. We have all the answers or do we?

The truth is we never know what we will do if placed in a certain set of circumstances. We may think we know, but we can’t possibly know because we have not walked in another person’s shoes and we will never walk in another person’s shoes; so we can never truly make a judgement call about what we would or wouldn’t do, if we were that person.

But, we love to be armchair quarterbacks. I wonder why that is. Why are we so full of advice for other people when we have a hard time just running our own lives? Maybe other people’s problems seem easier because they are not our own. Our own lives are harder than anyone else’s. Right? That’s why it’s so much easier to tell other people what they should do, than to figure out our own situations.

Jesus showed a perfect understanding of our tendency to do this when he said, “How can you think of saying to your friend, “Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye, when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?” Matthew 7:4 Ouch! This particular verse speaks to me. We really have no business giving unsolicited advice, period.

Jesus didn’t say not to help someone out who seeks your counsel. He specifically says not to go around telling people what the should do when we don’t have it together ourselves. Wise advice to be sure, but Jesus has always known our nature and chooses to love us anyway.

Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

So, as Christians, how should we react when we hear that someone’s life has taken a bad turn through no fault of their own? We pray for them. We offer support. We don’t gossip about it and we don’t give advice that they didn’t ask for. Support can come in many forms, but it never comes in the form of condemnation.

If someone asks our advice in a situation, then we should kindly and gently speak truth as best we can, but if they don’t ask it, we should zip our lips, keeping in mind that we never know when life will throw us a curve ball of our own. I think we would all do well to remember to “do unto others…”

What do you think about unsolicited advice? Feel free to share.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

Life’s Oyster Bars

Posted on by Wendy
That tiny bit of something on the surface is actually a big oyster bar.
That tiny bit of something on the surface is actually a big oyster bar.

When you look at the picture above, what jumps out at you? The sun is really bright and the water is really calm. The photo was taken in the shallow waters of the Gulf of Mexico. An unseasoned boater who is out enjoying the beautiful weather and calm waters might plow right over it. That would be really bad.

Here is the oyster bar at low tide.
Here is the oyster bar at low tide.

What looked just like a little place in the ocean that you could just go around and miss, is actually the tip of a large mass of coral type oyster shells. They are very sharp and very hard and could completely destroy the bottom of a boat, leaving the occupants stranded or worse.

When you go out into the ocean, it’s always best to pick a seasoned captain who knows how to navigate the waters that you want to travel in. I wouldn’t want a river boat captain to take me out in the ocean, but I wouldn’t want a seasoned Pacific Ocean captain to take me out in the Gulf of Mexico either. Every body of water is different with different hazards that only a seasoned captain can know.

I think life is kind of like that. When you run into rough waters in particular areas, you don’t always seek advice from the same person. I may have a very close friend who doesn’t have kids. Would I ask her advice on how to deal with my teenager? By the same token, if I were having marital problems, would I seek advice from someone who has been divorced three times? Probably, not.

We were made for community. I believe that God sends all sorts of people into our lives at different times for different reasons and seasons. He even sends some of the same people in and out at different times while He’s weaving the tapestry that becomes our story.

I think when we really need advice, instead of just looking to our closest friends, we should seek out people who we consider wise in the matters that we need help with. The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom. Proverbs 8:11 tells us, “Wisdom is more valuable than rubies.” James 1:5 tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you.”

What does all of that mean? I think it means that God respects our need for guidance and He puts people in our lives who can help us along the way, but it’s up to us to recognize them. There’s a lady at my church who has been a member forever. She raised her kids there. When I started having concerns about church, I prayed about it. Her name came to mind. I picked up the phone and called her. She was incredibly helpful and she gave me wise advice. God put her in my path, but it was up to me to seek her out.

The oceans of our lives are bound to have oyster bars. We have to learn to navigate around them. From time to time, we need to seek advice. It’s up us to seek it from those who are wise, but luckily, if we pray about it, God will point the way. Have you ever needed to seek wise advice? Feel free to share.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

I Learned All I Need to Know About Faith at VBS

Posted on by Wendy

Jesus Loves Me.

Worship takes many forms including singing and dancing.

There’s a time for everything; a time to listen, a time to share, a time to pray, a time to create, a time to snack, a time to sing and dance and a time for worship. 

Community is important.

Friendships are to be treasured.

God is creative and He made me to be creative too.

We are all beautiful and unique just like the tie dye shirts we make every year.

My art is beautiful.

My singing voice is beautiful to God.

Jesus died for my sins, but God brought him back to life and He always forgives me if I ask.

The Bible is God’s book and we are supposed to read it daily.

I can talk to God anytime I want to through prayer.

I should watch for God everywhere I go because He is everywhere.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂