Category: Building Christian Character

A friend once told me that there should be something from the sea in every room in your house. I don’t know where she heard that from, but since she is a fabulous decorator and I am not, I went home and took a look around. It just so happens, that my family loves the beach and picking up shells, so we do have shells in various places.

But, that had me asking myself a deeper question, what does my house say about me? Now, I’m not talking about whether it’s a mansion or a small apartment. I’m talking about what the inside conveys to the casual visitor about me and my family.

Skip over the dust bunnies and clutter that come from actually living in a home. I’m talking about what hangs on the walls. What color are the walls? Is the furniture comfortable? I have friends who live in houses worthy of Pottery Barn catalogs, but do I feel like I can sit down on the couch and prop my feet up and have a cup of coffee or do I feel relegated to their perfect kitchens?

Are there pictures spread around of good times had with family and friends or is everything perfectly posed or are the walls completely bare? I asked myself all of these questions, because I feel like we are all created by a God who is creative and who wants us to create. But, for many reasons, we are shy about our creativeness. This usually stems from comparing ourselves to others and their abilities, which is not we are supposed to do.

What about who we worship? If a repairman were to walk through my home, would he know who I worship? I’m not saying there should be a crucifix hanging in every room. I’m just wondering, would it be obvious to the casual observer that I am a Christian. Are there Bible quotes anywhere? Is there a Bible anywhere in plain view?

While we allow ourselves to be constantly bombarded by the electronic world, what does our real, three-dimensional world look like? What does our nest feel like? Is it comfortable? Is it welcoming? Is there a place for reflection and contemplation? Is it inspirational? Do we and those who live with us, feel free to create?

Notice, I never asked if it was perfect. Striving for perfection this side of heaven, is a losing game. I feel like if I’m going to try to live a meaningful and intentional life, then I should surround myself with things that inspire me and make me happy along with things that help to remind me of what really matters. These things don’t have to cost much.

They are simply things that speak to me and help express who I am and since we are all God’s creations, we should embrace who we are and what we create. So, I challenge you to take a look around your house and unleash the creativity that God has placed within you. Make your space happy, not perfect and watch inspiration take off.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

I recently saw a re-run of the movie, Dirty Dancing. (the original of course) We all remember Patrick Swayze’s famous line, “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” But, Jerry Orbach, who played the dad, also has an awesome line at the end of the film when he realized that he had made a mistake in accusing Swayze’s character of doing something he didn’t do. He said, “When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.”

Wow, who would have thought, that a teen dance  movie from 1987, would be quote worthy over twenty years later? I have noticed that no one is ever wrong anymore or more precisely, no one admits to being wrong anymore. Once upon a time, responsibility was a cornerstone of our society.

People made mistakes. They owned up to them. There were consequences and then everyone moved on. How many of you reading this, took candy or gum from a store and your mom made you take it back and apologize? I did and my mother marched me right back into Woolworth’s and made me apologize to the cashier. It certainly wasn’t a pleasant experience for me and I’m sure it was embarrassing for her, but it was the right thing to do. She was teaching me responsibility.

There was also a time when we were involved in a car accident, that we immediately apologized to the other driver and admitted fault. We don’t do that anymore. Neither driver ever admits fault even if it’s obvious to every single person involved. Why is that? What has happened to us? Well, we could blame the lawyers and while that’s always fun and they do have some blame, I think the problem runs deeper.

Our politicians are never wrong anymore either. Whether they steal or have extramarital affairs or simply lie to their constituents, they never admit wrongdoing. Our leadership refuses to accept responsibility for their actions.

Part of the foundation of Christianity is repentance. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, we can be forgiven for anything, but, (and this is a big but), we have to admit the sin and ask for forgiveness. God can’t forgive us for something we refuse to admit and therein lies the rub.

Nobody likes to be wrong. We make excuses to make ourselves feel better about what we are doing and we can always find someone else to blame. “It was my parents’ fault.” “I wasn’t raised any better.” “He cheated me first.” This is one of those endless lists.

But, if we want to live in the peace and joy that come from the Holy Spirit, we have to confess our sins to God. That means we have to take responsibility for our actions. While this can be very uncomfortable, it’s not negotiable. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:19

I think we need to really pray about personal responsibility and act on it. Then, we need to be sure that we are modeling it and teaching it to those around us. I think it’s time for a quiet revolution, one that can make a huge difference. What do you think? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Respect seems to be in very short supply these days. Husbands and wives don’t respect each other. Children don’t respect their parents. Adults don’t respect their leaders. We don’t even seem to have much respect for the clergy anymore.

What is going on with our society? While I can’t say for sure, I think it starts at home. How do we speak to each other and treat each other within the four walls of our homes? When we disagree with one another, do we respect our differences or do we spiral into name calling and belittling the person we disagree with? Is “your way,” always right?

Do we criticize our spouses in front of our children? If we don’t respect each other, then how can we expect our children to respect us? I once heard a pastor say, that if he couldn’t teach his son to respect his earthly father who was standing right in front of him, then how in the world, was he going to teach him to respect a heavenly father that he couldn’t see?

I think he made a very good point. Should our children respect us just because we tell them to or do we have to earn it? While we can make them behave in a certain way, we cannot make them respect us.

Respect is an attitude, not an action. There are actions than stem from it or lack of it, but respect itself, is an attitude. So, how do we go about earning it? I think we start by respecting God and His rules. The Ten Commandments are always a great start. How are we doing with the top ten?

The New Testament gives all kinds of examples of how we are to love and treat each other as well. Ephesians, chapter six, tells children to obey their parents and fathers not to provoke their children to anger in they way that they treat them. (I think it’s safe to say mothers are included in this as well.) That means don’t treat them harshly for no good reason. It goes onto say, “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” That mean teach them God’s laws.

Jesus tells us to, “Love each other as I have loved you.” John 13:34.  I think that if we really make an effort to follow God’s blueprint for our lives, we really begin to respect those around us because we begin to respect that we are all His creations and He never makes mistakes.

If we start with respect at home, then it carries over to friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors and teachers. We can learn to respect differences and not insist on the other person bending to our way. We may find that we end up living with a sense of peace that we haven’t known before.

I think this may be worth a try. What do you think? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

I have been a substitute teacher at a local elementary school for seven years now. While many things have changed since I was in elementary school, some things have not.  One thing that hasn’t changed is the desire to be first, first in line, first to finish an assignment (whether or not it’s done correctly), the first one to the bus, the first one in a race on the playground, the list is almost endless.

The “me first” attitude seems to be timeless and can have dire consequences. I suspect many if not most, broken relationships and marriages stem from the “me first” mantra.  The desire to put ourselves first appears to be inborn, but Jesus has another way. If I were to ask you to name the twelve disciples, how many could you come up with? (I’ll give you a minute.) Out of the ones you came up with, which one was first? I’ll bet you didn’t know that the very first disciple was Andrew. Did he even make your list?

Andrew was the first to follow Jesus and he introduced his brother Peter. I’ll bet you remember him. Andrew is also the disciple who brought a little boy with two fish and five barley loaves to Jesus. Jesus took that small offering and fed five thousand people. Andrew made his purpose in life to bring others to Christ. He didn’t argue about being first or sitting on the right hand of Jesus. He simply brought people to Him. While other disciples stand out in our minds, Andrew’s contributions are no less worthy. He didn’t insist on being first.

Jesus said at the end of one of his parables, “So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” Matthew 20:16 While this verse was part of the parable, I think we can look to it for larger meaning. As human beings, we love to be first, to be in the spotlight, to be recognized by other human beings. I think Jesus may be saying that we shouldn’t seek human accolades and adoration.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with sporting events and 5k races; everyone wants to win sometimes. But constant competition with each other for the human spotlight keeps us from seeking the path to Jesus. I think the better path is probably the one that Andrew took. The servant hearted people who lead others to Jesus behind the scenes are every bit as important to God as the celebrity preachers who preach to thousands on television every week. Every soul counts. Period.

We all have a calling and it is rarely to run to the front of the line and declare our own greatness. No, I think it’s usually  quieter and more purposeful. So, the next time you feel like your contribution doesn’t matter, remember Andrew and know that God loves you and all of your contributions no matter how small they seem to you. He doesn’t use the same system of measurement that we do. Thank goodness!

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

When I sit down at a computer, I can become easily distracted by the internet. I may go to look up one thing, but find myself looking into something else altogether. On my homepage, news stories scroll through and inevitably, there will be one that I just have to read, thirty minutes later, I still haven’t started what I intended to. While the internet can be a fabulous tool for research, it can also be a distraction.

I suppose all electronics have the capability of being a liability, in that they steer us off course. One of the major threats on our roadways these days are drivers who text while driving. Most of us thought that the talking part was bad, but texting creates a whole new level of distraction and the results are sometimes deadly.

My daughter is drawn to the television. When it is on, she wants to watch. It doesn’t really matter what the show is about. My son would be one with his iPod Touch if it were possible. If he picks it up before he gets dressed in the mornings, his time simply disappears and he has no idea where it went.

There’s a very popular book series out called Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief.  In it, three kids are in hot pursuit of Zeus’s lightning bolt. While they are on the run, they step into the Lotus Casino. It has every game and snack imaginable and they are free. They decide to rest a little while. Percy realizes something isn’t right and they decide to leave. The bellhop attempts to lure them back, but when they get outside, they realize they have lost five whole days and only have one left to their deadline.

I use this example because distractions can be dangerous to our spiritual health. If I pick up my Bible to read while the television is on, I get distracted. I can’t concentrate. I can read the same page a couple of times and still not get the meaning.  The same thing happens if I try to have a conversation with my hubby with the television on. I can’t hear what he says if I’m listening to the t.v. My conversation with him should always trump my entertainment, but does it?

What about prayer? I’m a big believer in regular prayer. I can pray in the car or in the shower. But if I’m in the car and the radio is on, am I giving God my full attention? How can I expect my prayers to be answered if I ask half-heartedly, not really paying attention?

I think we need to be ever-mindful of this world’s distractions. Competition for our attention is at an all-time high. From an endless array of electronics to pressures at work and home, we are distracted from intentional living. We sort of plow through everyday, distracted by the latest Candy Crush game and pay less and less attention to our human relationships as well as our God relationship. This, I believe is the work of the enemy. There is one who wants us to be distracted, tired and unfulfilled. He wants us to just live our lives not to truly experience all of the joy that comes from true communion with each other and with God.

The only way to stop him is to live intentionally and be mindful of our choices and our distractions. We need to turn off the radio, t.v., iPad, etc.. when a person is talking and definitely find some silence when we want to pray. This isn’t easy in the noisy world that we live in, but I believe it is worth it. What about you? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

As I was traveling down Milledge Avenue yesterday I was taken by surprise by eight hay bales decorated for Halloween. It’s part of the Cattleman Association’s Halloween Havoc contest. Various groups buy the bales and decorate them for a chance to win a prize. My family looks forward to seeing  them every year because they are so creative and usually hysterical. There was a Batman this year as well as a pig from Angry Birds. One year someone depicted the swine flu. There are always some expected ones and always at least one or two unexpected ones. This year Willie Robertson caught my eye.

The Robertsons are everywhere. When I’m working at the school, kids are wearing the shirts. When I go to Wal-Mart, the merchandise is all over the store. There are Halloween costumes of the bearded family. Last Friday night, my hubby and I were watching Last Man Standing, and there were Willie and Si on network television. Not only were they guest starring on the show, Willie was actually quoting scripture to one of the characters. Quite scandalous these days!

Personally, I’m not a fan of reality television, but my entire family loves Duck Dynasty. Why is it that we are so captivated by the Robertson family? Their season premier in August broke all cable records with 11.8 million viewers. Everyone has their own opinion about the reason for the show’s success and it has its critics as well, but I think the heart of the show is it’s about family and faith and it’s funny.

In the eighties, we had Cosby and Family Ties. My mom grew up with Leave it to Beaver. We also had shows like Happy Days and The Brady Bunch. These were all clean, family shows where we were able to laugh at the mundane. The children respected their parents. The dads weren’t depicted as idiots. People went to church. These shows were not life changing or provocative, but they were fun. They depicted family as a good, solid force.

I know times change and vampires and werewolves apparently draw ratings and that’s okay. But it seems to me, that television executives might want to take notice. A Gallup poll in 2012 found that 77% of Americans consider themselves Christian. An ABC poll found the number to be 83%. That’s  a lot of Americans. Maybe Duck Dynasty’s success is these Christians saying that we would like to see more family friendly programming. Maybe these Christians are saying that we are perfectly fine with family sitting around a table at dinner and saying a prayer of thanks. Maybe these Christians are thrilled with being depicted as smart, funny and well-educated.

I certainly can’t speak for everyone who watches the show, but I love that the Robertsons love each other and they love Jesus. They have strong faith and a strong family and they have fun. In the end, what else matters? What do you think?

Have an awesome day and Happy Halloween!

Wendy 🙂

These stickers usually amuse me; I admit to having a couple myself. But, I started wondering, why do we feel the need to advertise to everyone on the road what our hobbies are or where we like to vacation. I suppose it’s the same force that has some folks putting on Facebook or Twitter every fleeting thought they have or telling the entire cyber world that they are going to the grocery store or are standing in line at the DMV. Some people even feel the need to post pictures of the dinner that they just made. While all of this seems perfectly harmless, it makes me wonder why do we so desperately want the world to take notice of us? Are we that lacking in attention from our immediate family and our friends and loved ones or have we become that narcissistic?

We seem to have the constant need to compare ourselves to others. This bad habit usually begins in early childhood and never really entirely goes away. We can tame it with lots of work and a change of focus from self to God, but it takes a lot of discipline.  Social media has put this innate need to compete and compare on steroids. Who has the bigger house? Whose kids are the smartest or most athletic or most attractive? Who goes on the nicest vacations? Who is running the most marathons? Who has the best life? The car stickers are another advertisement for our fantastic existence. But is it really fantastic?

The very first two commandments are “You shall have no other gods before me and worship only me.” While no one is running around worshiping a golden calf, how are we doing with “the having the no other gods deal?” Do we wake up every morning and thank God for one more day on this planet to help spread his message? Do we read the Bible as enthusiastically as a People Magazine at the doctor’s office? Do we proudly place a Jesus fish on that back window among all of the vacation and 5k stickers?

I once heard Joyce Meyer say that “God knows our hearts, but people see our actions.” She also said that we should be walking billboards for Christ. People should know who we belong to by our actions. While I totally agree with her, I’m going to throw in that I think our words go a long way too. What are we saying to others and about others and if I’m going to put my entire life story on my car window should I include a sticker for my Maker? I’m not saying we should all run out and buy a cross sticker for our cars. All I’m saying is if we try to objectively back up and look at our public image, cars, social media, how we talk to people at work, how we talk to our families and friends, etc… What would the casual observer see? Are we billboards for Jesus or billboards for self?

I’m going to spend some time praying about this one. I don’t think anyone means to put Jesus in the backseat, but sometimes that’s exactly where we put him and personally, I think he needs to not only be in the front seat with me, but he needs to be doing the driving. What do you think? Feel free to comment.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

I sometimes wonder if the reason that the Bible Belt is located in the south is because our roots here are tied so closely to agriculture. I am just one generation removed from farming. My dad grew up in a farming family. Most of the Southerners I know, still grow at the very least, their own tomatoes and many grow peppers and squash too. I know some people who still grow serious gardens that give them enough food to put away for the winter months.

There’s something about having to depend on nature for food that makes one humble himself/herself before God. After all, it doesn’t matter how hard the farmer works in the planting; it eventually comes down to the weather. Are there enough hours of sunlight? Does it get too cold at night? Is there a late frost? Is there drought? Is there too much rain? Any seasoned farmer will tell you that watering from a hose just doesn’t seem to produce the same results as rain. I wonder how many prayers have gone heavenward over crops and weather. I’ll bet it’s close to infinity.

For the past fifty years or so, we have drifted away from growing our own food and relied on grocery stores. This has likely been mostly for convenience and the lack of time. Growing your own food takes a ton of time and work. Still, many of us like to grow something for food each summer. We may do it because our parents did it or our grandparents did it or maybe we have learned the cold hard fact that nothing tastes as good as something you grew yourself.

Jesus often found himself addressing crowds of farmers and he usually chose to relay his message to them using topics they could understand. He was really awesome that way. He could quote all of the law and have heated debates with all of the Jewish spiritual leaders of the day, but he could just as easily use stories that were meaningful to the everyday Joe to get his message across. One of my favorite parables is the one of the farmer who scatters seed. It’s found in Matthew, Mark and Luke. He talks about a farmer who spread his seeds all over a field. Some fell on a footpath and were stepped on or eaten by birds. Some fell among rocks and grew at first, but died because of lack of moisture. Some fell among thorns and grew, but got choked out. Some grew on fertile land and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted.

Without going into what each situation represents, I think the takeaway should be to scatter the seeds of the love and truth of Jesus every time we get the chance. Talk to your kids and grandkids about grace. Invite people to church. Take someone a meal. Pass on an inspirational e-mail. Send a card to a shut-in. Take a meal to someone recovering from something. Volunteer to help at Vacation Bible School. Share. Share. Share.

Sometimes when we share our faith with others, the seed won’t take for whatever reason, but while that is true, that shouldn’t factor in our decision to continue to share. Sometimes, when we share, we won’t see any results, but we are preparing the soil for the next farmer who will have better luck. But sometimes our seeds will hit fertile ground and the results will be more abundant than we can possibly imagine. Our fallen world needs hope and as Christians, we are just the ones to provide it. So let’s go out and sew some seeds of peace, hope, love and faith today and see what we can produce. The result may more abundance than we can imagine.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

My mom used to try without much success, to get my sister and me to play the Quiet Game. I must confess, I usually lost. I have always been a talker. I blame it on my dad’s side of the family. I come from a long line of talkers. My sister and I are only fifteen months apart, and looking back, I know my poor mom would have probably given just about anything for a few precious minutes of quiet when we were little. There’s wisdom in a well placed Quiet Game.

Some people seem to thrive on noise and chaos and some instinctively know that we all need some quiet time whether we want it or not. We are surrounded by noise just about every waking moment. We wake up to an alarm or radio or ipod. Many of us have the television on while we get ready for the day. Our time in the car involves talking with our kids or listening to the radio, audio books, ipods, etc… If we ever get a free moment during the day, we are likely to check Facebook or post or follow something on Twitter. We might use our smart phones to check sports scores, e-mail or the weather forecast.

After work is not much better. There’s usually helping with homework, kids’ sports practices or games. We have to make dinner and often watch television or talk to kids while we are accomplishing that task. Then there’s cleaning up dishes, working on laundry, ironing and maybe sitting down to watch Duck Dynasty. We may get out our smart phones again to check in with the cyber world before falling asleep in front of the television, dragging ourselves to bed and starting over again the next day. Does this routine sound familiar?

If it does, where in this typical day do we find time for God? I once asked my middle school Sunday school class to draw a pie chart of what percentage of time they spent at school a week. Next, I asked them to put in slices for homework, sports and other extracurricular activities. Lastly, I asked them to draw in how much time a week they spent with God. As you might expect, it was a puny slice. To be fair, I did my own pie chart and it didn’t look too good either. If you really want an introspective experience, try teaching middle schoolers. There’s no winging it. You have to do your homework and you have to be authentic.

As we discussed our individual pie charts, we all agreed that if you only spend and hour or two a week with God by going to church, you’re not spending enough time with God. We asked the kids how they would do at baseball or soccer if they practiced one day a week. Keep in mind, some of these kids are hard-core and are on travel teams. They all readily agreed they wouldn’t be very good players. Then, can we be good Christians if we only spend a couple of hours on Sunday with God? The answer from the kids was a resounding, “no.” We talked about possible solutions.

The first and foremost answers were time management and less noise. (From the mouths of babes!) God often speaks to me through my Sunday school kids, so I began examining my own time management and noise level. It turned out to be pretty loud. How could I hear God, if I was never quiet? Was it possible that what I perceived as God not answering my prayers was my inability to get quiet and listen?

One of my favorite Biblical illustrations of this is Elijah. In 1 Kings 19:11-13, God tells him to go to a mountain. There was a terrible wind that busted up rocks, but God was not in the wind. There was an earthquake, but God was not in that either. Then there was a fire, but God was not in the fire. At last, there was a gentle whisper and that’s where Elijah found God. What does that tell us?

I think maybe we need to be more intentional about carving out a few quiet moments for God each day. Find a quiet spot in the early morning or after dinner or after the kids go to bed; the time doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is we consistently seek some quiet time with God, time for spiritual things like: praying, reading the Bible, writing in a prayer journal, listening. No cell phones, televisions, ipads or laptops allowed. If we ever actually get quiet, we may be surprised at what we hear. What do you think about quiet time?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

I was able to visit with my parents last weekend. I haven’t seen them since the summer, so I was really looking forward to the visit. After dinner, we lingered around the table as we often do and caught each other up on the recent happenings in our lives. My daddy, like most southern men, is a gifted storyteller, so when he launched into one of his tales, I had no idea what was coming.

He was heading home from work a couple of weeks earlier and came upon a horrible car accident. He stopped his truck, turned on the emergency flashers and got out to see if he could help. There was a SUV and a small Honda involved. He had actually seen the Honda a few minutes earlier. There was a man in the driver’s seat of the Honda who wasn’t moving. His window was shattered and Dad reached in to check his pulse. He was deceased. The woman from the other car told him there was someone else in the car. Dad had her sit on the curb and went to check. Sure enough, there was a child in the passenger seat. His foot was hung on something and he was in silent shock. Dad dialed 911.

The following happened in minutes. A man appeared and asked if he could help. Dad told him yes, that he needed to turn traffic around in one direction. This was a very busy, well-traveled street; if someone came barreling down the highway, these cars could be hit again before he could get the child out. A second man appeared asking if he needed help and dad asked him to stop traffic in the other direction. These civilian men literally helped to create a safety zone so that this child could be rescued. They turned all types of vehicles around including a bus.

When Dad was able to get to the child, the window was jammed and the boy couldn’t get it down. A third stranger appeared asking if he could help. Dad told him they had to get the window out and get the child’s foot loose so they could get him out. He tried to pull the window out of the door frame and it miraculously came out in one piece. At this point in the story, my dad stopped. He was a mechanic for many years; car windows don’t come out in one piece. They shatter. If it had shattered, the child would have been covered in glass. It didn’t. It came out in one piece. The man standing beside him reached into the car and freed the child’s foot and Dad was able to lift him out safely. A fire truck arrived shortly after followed by the police.

After it was all over, Dad was plagued with the thoughts that always follow a tragedy. If he would have been five minutes earlier, he would have missed the entire scene. If  he would have been two minutes earlier, he would have been in the accident. Who were these men who came out of nowhere at exactly the right moment to help in this rescue? Why did the window come out like it did? The answer to all of these questions is of course, God’s timing. All of these pieces didn’t simply come together by chance.  Dad and the other men, were there in that place at that moment for that purpose. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 NIV Notice, God prepared in advance. And as for the window, we know, nothing is impossible with God.

As Christians, we are supposed to do good as often as we can. The Bible tells us, “Let us not become weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9  God is all around us. His footprints are everywhere. I wanted to share Dad’s story because I think we need to hear more about regular people doing good. As I’ve said before, with God’s help, one person can make a difference. What good can you do today?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂