Confessions of a Reformed Pleaser

If we want to know what God is calling us to do, we have to spend quiet time in prayer.

I have been a life long people pleaser. I have always strived to make the people around me happy, whether they were parents, teachers or friends.

I attended a military high school where I flourished. There were very specific rules, spelled out boundaries in black and white. I knew what they were and I obeyed them. My parents were happy. My teachers were happy.

My parents expected good grades; so I worked hard at getting them. My parents were happy. My teachers were happy.

But, one of the biggest downfalls of wanting to make everyone around you happy, is that the older you get, the longer the list gets. In addition to your parents and closest friends, there’s a spouse, your own children, bosses, co-workers, your kids’ teachers, your church family. This list can seem close to infinite.

At one point, I read a book called, “You Are Already Amazing,” by Holley Gerth. She pointed out repeatedly, that we are called to love others, but not to please them. That made a lot of sense and as I let go of a lot of the need to please people, I focused on pleasing God.

I feel that all Christians should try to please God, but if you are anything like me, you have to be careful. We can get in our heads all of the right actions we think will please God. We have to be good mothers doting on our kids every moment; we need to keep a clean house, pray before every meal, honor and adore our spouses, never miss a Sunday at church, volunteer at every church opportunity presented to us, from teaching a class, to leading a Bible study, to singing in the choir, to cooking meals, or being thankful with a smile at all times even when we feel like sobbing.

Most of the things on that list are good things, but we can easily turn trying to please God into believing that we can do something to earn His love. The simple truth is: We can’t earn God’s love or our salvation. It has been freely given to us. The price has already been paid.

We in turn, show our love for God by walking with Jesus. That can sometimes be frustrating for a rule following, pleaser like me. There is no long black and white list of how to do that and everyone’s journey is different.

All we need to know and do, is to spend quiet time in prayer in God’s presence everyday and read His word. When we do that, we become familiar with His voice. We can hear when He calls us to do something. It may be to sing in the choir or to lead a Bible study, or not. It won’t be a huge laundry list. We are not called to do everything, just our part.

We are all called to do different jobs to make a kingdom impact and what we are called to do today, may be different in a couple of years. That’s why we have to spend daily time with God, listening.

Because in the end, pleasing God is something we get to do, not have to do. It’s something each one of us is uniquely qualified to do. Sometimes I need reminding. Perhaps you do too.

Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂