A Call to Trust

We can be at peace not knowing where the road leads when we understand that God knows.

Back in February, I had an annual visit to my doctor. We had a conversation about my yearly mammogram. Due to my mom’s breast cancer, I have been having yearly mammograms for the past fifteen years with no issues, but two out of the last three have resulted in callbacks. While both ended up being completely benign, I had to wait thirty days both times for my both followup visits.

I’m not necessarily that worried about getting breast cancer, but the unknown tends to drive me crazy. I need a plan. Each time, I was okay for the first couple of weeks; my faith was strong. But after that, doubt crept in and I was a nervous wreck by the time I made the appointment, even though I knew that God was with me and even though I knew He had a plan.

When I commented to the technician about my long wait at my last call back, she assured me that everyone had to wait that long because the hospitals in our area serve many surrounding counties. Well, not this time, I decided. I informed my doctor that this time if I got called back, I had no intention of waiting for thirty days. I was perfectly willing to drive to Atlanta or anywhere else. I told her that I just simply didn’t have it in me to wait that long for results.

She assured me that I really shouldn’t get a call back this time, but made a note in my chart. She said there was definitely something that could be done.

But, when I saw a missed call on my phone from the doctor’s office a couple of weeks later, my heart sank. Seriously? Again?

They wanted more films, but this time it was the other side, but this time they had, “sweet talked,” some people and secured me an appointment in two weeks. That was better. I was annoyed, but I could live with two weeks.

Then Covid-19 hit and an e-mail from my chiropractor informed me that he may have been exposed by a patient in his office who may have had it. I got the e-mail on a Friday. My appointment at the hospital was on Tuesday. My mind began spinning and my stomach hurt. If I had been exposed, I could potentially infect someone else and that someone could have cancer. That’s a serious underlying condition. Was I willing to take that chance?

I didn’t sleep on Sunday night. I wrestled and I kept feeling that nudge from God, “Do you trust me?” Did I?

I knew the right thing to do. When I called the hospital to explain, they wanted me to re-schedule in fourteen days, which of course had me right at thirty days for my results. Yes, I appreciated the irony.

When I went in in on the new date, I was less anxious than the other times. God had really worked on me and stretched me. When the results came back benign, I could almost hear Him say, I told you to trust me.

If it’s one thing this pandemic has taught us, it’s that we are not in control, but that’s not new. We never have been. It’s just now painfully clear. That knowledge can either terrify us or free us. Our reaction depends on us remembering that we serve the God who is in control and who always has a plan. There’s a peace that comes from knowing that. Sometimes I need reminding. Perhaps you did too.

Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂