Trusting His Will

Like a message from Heaven, there they were, blooming early.

As I sit at my keyboard, I’m filled with gratitude. I have come to the end of a faith lesson and it’s been a tough one.

Thirty days ago, I began an online Bible study on Job. That’s always a tough book to read. It’s about human suffering. It’s about us not understanding God’s plans, but it’s ultimately about accepting that His plans are greater than ours because He is God and we are not. It’s about choosing to trust Him and worship Him in good times and bad, even in our suffering.

Thirty days ago, the same day I began the Job study, I got a call from my doctor. My mammogram had come back abnormal. There was some kind of mass and I needed further testing. It was thirty days before I could get an appointment at one of the local hospitals.

I had just finished reading the book, “Crazy Love,” by Francis Chan. In the book, he writes that American Christians tend to focus all of our prayer on our own protection, when our focus should be on glorifying God with our lives, whether we are protected or not.

It’s a difficult concept and not really how most of us are taught to pray, but for whatever reason, I felt convicted to pray that way about my situation. I didn’t pray that it wouldn’t be cancer. I prayed that God would give me the strength to praise and glorify Him, no matter the diagnosis.

While it was difficult, I kept remembering Jesus praying in the garden that there would be another way, but that He would submit to God’s will. I know I have a savior who understands all of my human weaknesses and every time I would pray about it, I would feel this voice deep within asking, “Do you trust me?”

The waiting was hard. I tend to be very patient with people, but I don’t wait well. I wasn’t afraid of the outcome, but I wanted a plan.

The day arrived and of course, they were running behind, more waiting. But, a woman came and sat in front of me with, Matthew 19:26 carved in the side of her purse, “With God all things are possible.”

Jesus was there.

The technician took like 10 films and told me to wait and that she would probably need to take more. She said she definitely saw something. She returned and took me for an ultrasound. After that, a different technician went to get the doctor and I was alone in the room, but not really.

I could feel Jesus there and I continued to pray for strength

When the doctor arrived, she looked some more and then smiled and told me it was a cyst and there was nothing to worry about. Flooded with gratitude I thanked her and as I dressed I thanked God for the outcome and for the lesson.

When I got home and let my dogs out, my yellow irises caught my eye; they were blooming, the ones I planted that belonged to my surrogate grandmother, the ones that usually bloom a little closer to the end of April. Yet there they were, a little early this year.

As tears spilled down my cheeks I thanked God again. I had tried the prayer that I was convicted to pray and I never walked alone. Although a little frustrated at times, I always knew it would be okay because He was with me.

And it’s the same with all who belong to Him. Sometimes I need reminding. Perhaps you do too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂