Processing Change

Sometimes even the best changes can be difficult.

A couple of Sundays ago, I learned that the women in our church choir were going to sing, “I’ll Fly Away.” I was ecstatic. I have always loved that song. I sang it in church as a kid. But, as we began to sing, I learned that the sopranos were going to sing it completely differently than the version I know and love.

Unexpectedly, I felt my eyes fill with tears. I took a deep breath. What in the world was going on with me, that the changing of a church song would bring me to tears? What was the big deal?

But, age, and hopefully wisdom, has taught me that tears are an indicator that something deep within is bubbling, something I likely have not given attention to. I filed the knowledge away and finished the song.

But, I didn’t forget, nor did I try to. I knew that I needed to spend some quiet time in prayer to get my answers, so I found some time to do just that.

The quiet answer that came to me was simply one word, “change.” I really don’t do change very well and this season has been one of many changes for me, good changes for the most part, but changes, just the same. Instead of allowing myself to truly deal with saying goodbye to what was, I have just powered on full steam, to what is. The song was just one more change.

Dwelling on yesterday is a waste of time, right?

Maybe. But, when the chapter that you are closing was a long one and was filled with many wonderful memories, perhaps, actually closing it, takes some time and thought. Maybe, missing what was, doesn’t mean I’m not super excited, grateful, and happy about what is, as well.

Maybe, I need to make room in my heart for both and if I find some tears flowing along the way, that’s okay. As I’ve written here before, there’s great healing in tears.

After praying about it and thinking about it, I sang the new arrangement of that old favorite hymn again, the next week. It was then I learned that our choir director had arranged the piece herself. I’ll have to admit that I really found myself enjoying it and the joy I saw in her eyes when she saw us singing it, made the change well worth it.

An old favorite hymn sung in a new way, reminded me that although change is often hard, it can be beautiful too. Embracing the new doesn’t make the old any less special or relevant and missing the old doesn’t mean the new isn’t wonderful.

We have room in our hearts for both. Perhaps you needed reminding today too.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂