Month: May 2015

Breaking Free from the Herd

Posted on by Wendy
It takes courage to break out of the herd.
It takes courage to break out of the herd.

My daughter attends a very high achieving high school. It gets ranked nationally each year. The SAT scores are high and there are a huge number of kids who take Advance Placement courses or AP for short. The teachers and administrators really push these classes and harp on the fact that the kids can actually get college credit if they make a certain score on the final test, which by the way, the colleges raise every year. I suspect this has to do with the funds they lose on the kids not having to pay for their classes, but I could be mistaken.

My sophomore drank the proverbial Kool-aid this year and took one of the AP classes. It’s been a miserable and stressful experience for her. Quite frankly, I can’t imagine college being as ridiculously difficult as the questions that she was asked on many of her Work History tests. I’m a fairly bright gal with a college degree myself, and when I can’t understand the question, I’m crying foul, here.

Anyway, when she registered for classes next year, we had some long heart-to-hearts. The choice was hers, but she decided to register for honors classes instead of AP. I totally supported her choice. It’s just high school after all, does it really need to be that stressful? And if it takes her four whole years to finish college, so what?

She was happy with her decision. I was happy with her decision. But, her classmates, well, that’s a different story. You wouldn’t believe the pressure she has gotten to change her mind and register for AP. Her home room teacher, who doesn’t even teach her, has pressured her to change her mind. “Everyone is taking AP.”

Everyone is also talking about how miserably hard junior year always is. Many students have at least two AP classes if not more.

As she and I were talking about it this morning, I talked to her about herd mentality, one of my favorite analogies on being an individual.

First of all, I reminded her that God made us to be individuals. He gave us all different gifts and talents. Secondly, I don’t believe for a moment that His plan is for her to spend a miserable four years in high school because she took ridiculously difficult classes. If all she has time to do is study, how can she serve Him? If she is constantly stressed, how can she ever have time to be still and listen to His voice for guidance? How can she develop the gifts that she has been given?

Then I explained that when people are part of a herd, they all do the same thing. They may be miserable, but they are miserable together. When someone breaks out of the herd and the misery, and makes different choices, the ones who don’t have that desire or the courage, don’t like it. They try to use whatever means necessary to reel them back into the herd. After all, misery loves company. Shouldn’t we all be miserable together?

I don’t think so. I think that God made us all unique. Therefore, we shouldn’t all fit into the same mold as our peers. When we find ourselves in miserable circumstances, it’s usually best to take a time out and listen for His voice and His direction. I often find that He directs me to a different path.

My teenager needed that reminder today. Perhaps you did too. Forget the herd. What is He calling you to do?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Piper Lessons

Posted on by Wendy
Piper's vet visit reminded me that we should trust God even when we don't understand.
Piper’s vet visit reminded me that we should trust God even when we don’t understand.

Last week, our dog Piper, was acting a little puny. I decided I should take her to the vet. He thought that she probably had an abscessed tooth. He prescribed an antibiotic and I set up a cleaning appointment for yesterday. There’s something that just seems wrong to me about paying to get a dog’s teeth cleaned. I mean, when I was growing up no one would have dreamed of getting their dog’s teeth cleaned. Did bones stop working?

Anyway, we got her from the pound a couple of years ago and she was missing some teeth then. So, yesterday morning, I couldn’t give her any breakfast because they have to put her to sleep to clean her teeth. The other dog got to eat. I don’t know when I have felt like such a heel as when she kept following me around wagging her tail. Where was her morning treat? Where was her breakfast?

I tried explaining it, but of course, she’s a dog. She didn’t get it. When I got her harness to put her in he car, she was excited, until we got to the vet.

Remember how I said I didn’t know when I had felt as badly as when I didn’t give her breakfast? Well, multiply it times ten when we got to the vet. She jumped up on me and when I squatted down on the floor beside her, she began to whine. This dog NEVER whines. I’ve never heard her make that sound. She was breaking my heart.

All I was trying to do was get her some medical attention to make her feel better and stay healthy. The vet visit was in her best interest. Why couldn’t she understand that? Didn’t she know I wasn’t abandoning her? Don’t I always come for her? Why didn’t she trust me?

I was pondering the entire heart wrenching ordeal on the way home. Of course she couldn’t understand because she’s a dog not a person. I found myself praying about doing what is best and not being understood or appreciated.

I began to get a tiny glimmer of how I think God feels when He is dealing with us and our best interests. Have you ever been in a situation where you think God has abandoned you? Have you ever felt like He didn’t care or He was allowing you to be mistreated in some way?

Are you ever able to look back on those circumstances and see how He was busy at work even though you didn’t see it? Perhaps that lost job or lost relationship was for the best? Perhaps that wrong turn, turned out to be the right way after all?

When our hearts belong to Jesus, we never walk alone. God is always with us and always working with our best interests at heart. Sometimes, like Piper, we just can’t see it or understand because we’re not God. But, unlike Piper, we can choose to trust. The God who sent his only son to save us, will never abandon us.

He has a plan even when all seems lost. Piper reminded me of that. Maybe you needed a reminder too. By the way, her teeth turned out just fine and she’s happy to be home.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Kingsnakes not Copperheads

Posted on by Wendy
Sometimes a second look shows us that we didn't need to be afraid after all.
Sometimes a second look shows us that we didn’t need to be afraid after all.

My mama was a city girl. She grew up in town and walked to school on sidewalks. My parents moved us out to the country when I was just learning to walk. Mama taught me as early as I could remember to run away if I ever saw a snake. My daddy and granddaddy felt the same way. I grew up with a natural fear of snakes, all snakes.

I married a man who grew up in rural Georgia who shared my healthy fear of snakes, but in the past few years, we have changed our minds about them.

Our yard is very wooded. We have lots of squirrels, birds and chipmunks and even though we don’t often see them, snakes. Several years back, a Copperhead snake bit our dog. We never saw the snake, but the dog required medical attention. She fully recovered, and I became very wary of poisonous snakes.

The snake in the picture above, is a Kingsnake. It was hanging out near our hot tub last weekend. My hubby ran up on it as he was getting ready to work on the tub. As I walked around the corner, he called to me that a snake was back there. I froze.

“What kind?” I asked with dread.

He said it was a Kingsnake and I breathed a sigh of relief. Those guys kill the poisonous ones. It would be really foolish of us to kill one. Still, old feelings die hard and I watched from a very safe distance filled with fear of it, even though I knew it wouldn’t harm me.

It made me wonder about what other misplaced fears I might be carrying around with me. We pick up all kinds of fears over a lifetime. Some of them are good and keep us safe. It was certainly wise of Mama to warn me and my siblings about snakes. It’s not like you want to trust a five-year-old to discern the difference between poisonous and nonpoisonous ones.

But, as we get older, I think maybe it’s incumbent on us to figure out what we should really be frightened of and why. Adults shouldn’t fear all snakes or all spiders either, for that matter. Christians aren’t supposed to fear much of anything.

The Bible tells us, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

What does that mean? Maybe it means that we need to ask ourselves what kind of fears are we carrying around. Unfounded fears simply hold us back from living in freedom. They imprison us. If we have needless fears, we can always pray about them and give them to God. He can replace them with peace and power and then we can live as we are supposed to, eyes focused on Him.

We may find through prayer, that most of our fears are nothing more than Kingsnakes, not Copperheads.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

Honeysuckle Moments

Posted on by Wendy
What God plants is always so much better than what we can accomplish on our own.
What God plants is always so much better than what we can accomplish on our own.

I think May might be my favorite time of the year. It’s the time of year I can walk out onto my porch barefoot and have a cup of coffee. It’s not too cold and it’s not too hot. I can listen to the birds create their symphony and I can smell the honeysuckle.

I have really noticed the glorious scent of the honeysuckle vines around my house the last couple of days. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s stronger this year, but it smells fabulous. When my daughter joined me on the porch yesterday in her jammies and she mentioned how much she liked it too, we started talking about how much of it we have around the fence and trees near the house and about how much we love the scent.

Here’s the greatest thing about it; I didn’t plant it, not any of it. Not one little blossom came from any work I did.

I did plant some jasmine several years ago. Jasmine is famous in the South, for its sweet, intoxicating smell. It’s supposed to be easy to grow and it will cover unsightly fences. I bought it and watered it and hoped for the best. It did climb a pole. It also covered up a concrete pillar. It hasn’t bloomed even once.

The honeysuckle and jasmine comparison made me think about the things we plant and the things God plants. Sometimes we try our hardest to make something work that we think is best. Sometimes we can make it work, but sometimes we can’t. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, there are things or circumstances we just can’t make succeed. They can be almost anything from jobs, to relationships, to business ideas. Some things simply were not meant to be, kind of like my jasmine.

Then, at other times, things work out just beautifully, with almost no effort of our own. There are times when things seem to fall into place almost magically. It’s almost as if every light we come to is green, and a project, or a relationship, or a new job just succeeds almost perfectly out of the blue. These are our honeysuckle moments.

These moments are nothing we did ourselves. They are gifts from a loving God. I think the key is to recognize them and give thanks. I think we probably have many more honeysuckle moments than we realize; I know I do. Those vines growing in my backyard reminded me in a beautiful way that I am loved and blessed in so many ways and that I should probably look a little closer at all I have been given.

Maybe you need a reminder too. What are your honeysuckle moments?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Honoring Life’s Mothers

Posted on by Wendy
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday is Mother’s Day and thanks to the commercial world we live in, there’s a great push to buy the mothers in our lives everything from cards and flowers to diamond jewelry and days at the spa. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving tokens of thanks to the moms in our lives who we have been blessed with, but I think we should all go a little deeper on Mother’s Day.

Most women have been a mom in some way, shape or form in their lifetimes, even if they didn’t physically give birth to a child. Women tend to be natural nurturers. God made us that way, so most women mentor or mother many people during their lives who don’t share their DNA.

Sometimes our need to create life even takes the form of creating charities or writing books or movies that change people’s lives in some way. Creating and nurturing is something most women do well, which is not surprising, when we remember how creative our Creator is.

I think Mother’s Day is the perfect day to celebrate the women in our lives who have helped us along our journey. We should definitely celebrate the women who gave us physical life, but it’s a great time to remember all the ladies who have mothered us along the way.

It’s a great day to say a prayer of thanks for all of the mamas out there who make a huge contribution to the world we live in through the children they raise. It’s also a great day to remember those who are mourning the loss of their own mothers or those who may be mourning the loss of a child. We can pray for grace and comfort for those who mourn. The Bible tells us, they will be blessed and comforted.

I’m very grateful for my mama and all she’s done for me and I’m grateful for all those women who have mothered me along the way. I’d like to wish all the mamas out there a Happy Mother’s Day. You are all truly a blessing from God.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

A Heart Reboot

Posted on by Wendy
We can spiritually reboot our hearts and get back into perfect rhythm with God's plan.
We can spiritually reboot our hearts and get back into perfect rhythm with God’s plan.

My dad had to go to the hospital this week to have his heart stopped and restarted. Sounds pretty scary, right? Who on earth would agree to have their heart stopped on purpose? But, Daddy has a pacemaker that is supposed to keep his heart in rhythm and his heart was out of rhythm. That lack of perfect rhythm was making him tired all of the time with no energy.

The entire process took all of fifteen minutes, (although he did spend the night.) The surgeon basically rebooted his heart. It’s in perfect rhythm now and he is supposed to feel a hundred times better.

The entire process got me to thinking about how cool it would be if we could all get a heart reboot, when we get out of rhythm. Of course, I don’t mean physically, but spiritually.

There are times on our faith walk when we are just no longer motivated or so tired that we don’t want to continue anymore. We may get discouraged for a number of reasons from prayers that we feel are unanswered, to bad things that happen, to simply spreading ourselves too thinly and doing too much. Some of us are guilty of saying yes, too often.

Whatever the reason that we find ourselves out of rhythm, maybe we can reboot our hearts spiritually. If we aren’t spending any time with God in prayer, that’s a good start. But, possibly the best way to reboot, is to spend some time in His Word.

I often hear people complaining about not hearing from God or feeling His presence, but when asked if they spend anytime reading the Bible, the answer is usually, no. I bet if we would commit to just fifteen minutes a day to Bible reading, we may get fabulous results.

Prayers seem to get an electric charge when we are regularly reading the Bible. We learn to pray differently. The Holy Spirit gets really busy when we read the Bible. If the Spirit is the pacemaker; the Bible is His battery. We are granted wisdom and discernment. We feel a new peace. Our spiritual lives can reboot and we can take on a new rhythm.

There’s no magic number of minutes to spend reading the Bible or in prayer, but if we are out of rhythm, fifteen minutes a day may be a perfect place to start. Why not give it a try?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Been There Moments

Posted on by Wendy
Our been there moments have the potential to comfort others.
Our been there moments have the potential to comfort others.

When I got called in yesterday to sub, I had no idea why. It turned out that it was for a teacher who had to have her dog put to sleep that morning. As I shared in a post last week, I recently went through that myself. When she arrived at noon, we talked about it a few minutes and shared stories. I hugged her and offered her some comfort that could really only come from someone who had “been there.”

Later, in the car rider line, I was talking to a friend of mine who had a serious struggle last year resulting from the betrayal of a really good friend of hers. That same friend had brought her into the Christian faith, so the betrayal hurt her very deeply. She and I have discussed many times why God didn’t work it out differently. I always assured her that He does have a plan and His own timing even when we can’t understand.

Well, it turns out that she had coffee with another friend of hers a couple of days ago who shared some things that were going on in her own life and in one of her relationships and my friend got it. She said it was like a light bulb moment, when she realized that the only way that she was able to  help this friend was because she had “been there,” herself.

The bad stuff from her past, all of the pain, suddenly made sense. She said she felt an amazing sense of peace and relief.

When we surrender our stuff to God, He can do amazing things with it. When I say stuff, I mean pain, betrayals, disappointments, failures and heartache. He can use those things and create something beautiful to help others along in their journey. It doesn’t matter whether or not we can see it; He can.

But, we shouldn’t limit ourselves or Him to the negative stuff either. He can also use our successes, strong healthy relationships, and joy too. His power is limitless. He wants everything in our hearts, good and bad and all He wants from us is to give it to Him and to trust.

Wherever we are right now, whatever we are going through, we never walk alone. He can redeem any situation and He always wants to hold our hand on the journey. The question is, are we willing to reach for His?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Dandelion Faith

Posted on by Wendy
What do you see when you look at a dandelion?
What do you see when you look at a dandelion?

When children see a dandelion, they often see a wish for the making. They will blow on all of those little white seeds and make a wish. When adults see a dandelion, they often see a weed that must be killed at all costs. Beauty, I suppose, is in the eye of the beholder. The truth is, though, that we would usually all be better off if we looked at life through a child’s eyes.

Dandelions were actually prized until the 1800’s. People would pull grass out of their yards to make space for useful weeds. They are useful. All parts of them are edible except for the white seeds. They have vitamin A, C, K, potassium and calcium in them. They can also be dried and made into a tea. They can be used to make dyes and some cultures use them for medicinal purposes. Bees love them and use them to make honey.

Interestingly, when perfectly manicured lawns became the rage, dandelions became a pest to homeowners. People spend millions of dollars each year on herbicides to try to eradicate them. But, the dandelion is a formidable foe.

I think we might have some things to learn from this little weed. First of all, its roots can grow up to fifteen feet deep. Think about that for a moment. No wonder you can’t dig them up very easily. Most of them have about eighteen inch roots, but that’s still pretty deep. The other cool thing about their tap-root is that it’s very brittle and twisted, if you leave any of it at all behind, while digging it up, it will regenerate.

Then there’s the little white seeds. They can travel up to five miles away on the wind and create more dandelions. That’s a lot of dandelions from one original plant.

I have to wonder what our faith would look like if we took a lesson from the dandelion. What if we established deep roots through prayer, Bible reading and faith community? If our roots went deep enough, no adversity could snuff us out. If we came under attack, we would regenerate. The right root system would allow us to do that.

After establishing roots, we could feed many off of our bright yellow flowers. All kinds of people are attracted to bright and cheerful, just like the bees are attracted to dandelions. Just think of the sweet honey-like things that could come from our cheerful invitation to follow.

Then, of course, there are the white seed pods that spread everywhere with a little help from the wind or a whimsical child. There’s a lot of new life that can come from spreading our faith like that.

I think we can learn a lot from the dandelion. I don’t think I’ll look at them quite the same way anymore. Maybe you won’t either.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Obedience and Blessings

Posted on by Wendy
Obedience leads to beautiful blessings.
Obedience leads to beautiful blessings.

Last night our church improv group did a Sunday Night Live show. It was a variety show with short comedy skits and some music played in between. My family participated in one at Christmas time and we enjoyed it, but this one was an entire different story.

My hubby and kids worked together and wrote several of the skits for this one. We had a group of nine teenagers as well as adults. We had very few practices and many last-minute script changes. It was incredibly stressful. I found myself praying last week that God would calm my nerves and help me to see His plan through all of the chaos.

I had worked with young children and plays many times, but teens are an independent sort. Would they learn their lines? Would they even show up? Comedy is also a different animal than other plays. Would the show be funny?

Sunday morning came and one of our adult cast members had a fever. Would she be able to make the show?

Sunday afternoon everyone showed up on time. The rehearsal was horrible. We didn’t know our lines. We didn’t have the right props. We had technical difficulties. We all hoped to run through our show twice, but only had enough time to do it once.

Now I knew from every single play that I have ever worked with that a horrible rehearsal often leads to a beautiful performance. The other thing that we had going for us was that we had spent the past five months or so, learning to improvise, so when we flubbed our lines, we could often just work with each other. That’s what improv is.

But, probably the most awesome thing that God let me witness through the entire experience was a few minutes before the show started. The pastor wanted to round up the cast for a prayer, but when we went to find the kids, they were already joining hands for a group prayer of their own.

I was moved to tears. A group of teens pulling together on their own, to pray for a common goal is an awesome thing to witness. The adults joined the kids and one of the girls lead the prayer.

Of course, the show went beautifully. The audience laughed loudly at our shenanigans. The music was beautiful and the kids worked together like well oiled machinery.

God was there, just as I knew He would be. He was at work. He was at work as people laughed who desperately needed to laugh. He was at work as we all worked together. He was at work within the hearts of the teenagers who knew the importance of prayer. I’ve no doubt He was at work in countless other ways too.

As is usually the case, when I watch for God and I am obedient, even when it’s hard, He always shows Himself in unmistakable ways and I always end up feeling incredibly blessed. I’ll try to remember that the next time obedience seems hard.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

The Healing Power of Kindness

Posted on by Wendy
Kindness can help heal.
Kindness can help heal.

We had to have our dog, Sadie, put to sleep on Good Friday. It’s taken me until now to be able to write about it. It wasn’t completely unexpected. She was a hundred fifteen pound dog and she was fourteen years old. She had long outlived her life expectancy. Still, she was healthy and although she could no longer hear or see very well, she seemed to be chugging along just fine, until she wasn’t.

She had some sort of stroke. We called our vet and he was set to be out of town for the week, but would be in for a couple of hours that morning. He had always been Sadie’s vet, so we really wanted it to be him. We beat him there and had to wait for a while, but they got us in a room and checked on us repeatedly, offering us tissues and drinks. Their gentleness and kindness was unbelievably touching.

When the vet arrived, he actually sat on the floor with us as she drifted off for the last time and they made a little plaster footprint for us to keep. While the entire process was pretty gut wrenching, I was so incredibly moved by their kindness.

When we attended a Good Friday prayer service that night, we told our pastor about our dog. He was very sympathetic and was concerned about our kids. On Easter Sunday, I had several church members express their condolences too. I don’t know why I was so surprised. It’s a very small, close-knit community. If you have ever had a dog, you know they become part of the family.

The vet clinic is in a very rural county and they are always busy. They really didn’t have to go out of their way to be so incredibly kind to us, but they did. A couple of days ago, we got a sympathy card in the mail from them and everyone in the clinic signed it. Attached to the card, was an envelope of wild flower seeds. We can plant them in a patch and be reminded of Sadie every spring.

What a beautiful gesture, that again, was certainly not required or even expected from them.

Kindness is one of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, one that seems in short supply these days if you watch much of the news. It often takes so little from us to extend kindness to others, but that effort can mean the whole world to someone who is hurting.

I feel so blessed by the kindness extended to our family over the loss of our dog and I am reminded to be ever vigilant to extend it to those around me who may be hurting. It really does help.

When my kids ask me if dogs go to heaven, I have to say that I can’t imagine creatures that bring so much love to humanity not being close to the heart of God. So, yes I suspect heaven is full of dogs.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂