Words can be just as dangerous as sticks and stones.
When I was growing up, we used to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I suppose as a child I really believed that. Young children often say mean things to one another. I guess I really never gave it too much thought when I was younger. By middle and high school though, words can really start to wound, often as badly as those proverbial sticks and stones.
I would imagine that there have been as many fights and wars started over words than for any other reason. Why is it that we take our awesome ability to communicate with each other and turn it into something ugly and hurtful?
Now that I have a child in high school, the words are flying. Everyone has something to say about somebody else, and quite often, it’s not very nice and sometimes downright ugly.
Hurtful words can sometimes be like that paper cut that we get; they aren’t really serious, but they hurt every time you wash your hands or take a shower. For a few days at least, that tiny cut is ever-present in your thoughts. After a little while it heals and we move on, but we don’t forget. Of course sometimes, words can wound much more deeply and can damage relationships and the people in them permanently.
Maybe our use of hurtful words stem from fear. Maybe we are afraid that the person we are talking about will take something away from us. Maybe they come from judgement. We are all fairly masterful at judging others. Perhaps they come from our own hearts that aren’t pure like they should be. I once heard a pastor say that if we sought to have a pure heart that seeks God, all of the rest would fall into place.
The Bible has a ton to say about our tongues and the words we use. The Book of Psalms uses words like swords and razors to describe the destructive capabilities of our tongues. It says our words can be used like arrows. Jesus said in Matthew 15:10-11, “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”
Ouch! So, what we say actually has an impact on our purity of heart. But, what if that person really is a bad person? What if we just need to vent?
Sometimes we need to talk things out. We are made that way. But, there’s a difference between talking things out and pure old gossip. When someone is acting in a way that is clearly wrong, maybe instead of calling our best friend and talking about her, we should pray for her, talk to God about her or him instead. Maybe we could reach out to that person and see if we can help in some way.
Isn’t that what we are called to do? Aren’t we supposed to love one another? Is that unbelievably hard? Yes. Does God know that it’s hard? Yes. Will we fail? Yes. Will God forgive us when we fail? Yes. Should we try anyway? Yes.
As I counsel my fifteen-year-old on her use of words, I’m really forced to take a look at my own use of them. I think this is just one more way God uses our children to convict us. It’s always fairly easy to look at others and their mistakes, but rarely as easy to look at our own. Who ever said the journey would be easy? I think that thinking before we speak, is probably worth a try.
What do you think?
Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂