Month: May 2014

It’s in Your DNA

Posted on by Wendy
My son sketched this last Sunday while riding in the back of a mini-van.
My son sketched this last Sunday while riding in the back of our mini-van.

My son presented me with this drawing on Mother’s Day, right before we arrived at my parents’ house. He’s twelve years old and has never had an art lesson. We don’t have a dog like this one. He just created it. His daddy draws and paints and his sister can draw too. My sister can draw and paint. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler. Seriously, their talent amazes me.

My son can also sit at the piano and bang out a tune he has heard in band. He plays the drums and has never had a piano lesson. At Christmas, I heard him tapping out “Joy to the World.” I have an uncle on my daddy’s side, who plays guitar and harmonica by ear. I have a great-aunt on my mama’s side who recently told my mom that her daddy could play piano by ear.

My son has a similar gift to his great-granddaddy. Isn’t that amazing? There are some things that seem to be genetically wired into our DNA. They are sometimes really cool things like artistic talent that we can nurture. They are sometimes bad things like cancer and alcoholism that we have to really watch out for.

Everyone’s DNA is unique to them. So everyone’s talents and weaknesses are unique to them as well. God made us that way.

We are all wired for worship. The desire to worship is in the DNA of every single human on the planet. How we worship may look very different from our friends or neighbors which makes sense. Some people would definitely prefer quiet and meditative worship over energetic praise worship. By the same token, some people are completely at home worshiping with a thousand other people, while others would be too overwhelmed for words in a huge crowd like that.

Although our worship naturally varies from person to person, our desire to worship is innate. Our children will worship everything from their friends, to their sport of choice, to their GPA if we aren’t very careful to guide them down the right path. Self-worship is another huge issue these days with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and the ever-present, “selfie shot.”

As adults, we sometimes need to take a selfie of our own from time to time, a self- inventory. We know who we are supposed to worship, but who are we worshiping? Can our children tell, by the example we are setting? If they were to be quizzed about it, what would they say?  Keep in mind, kids are usually brutally honest.

The first two commandments of the ten are: 1)You must not have any other God but me. and 2)You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind. I’m guessing since those two made the top of the top ten, they are important to God, and therefore should be important to us.

God knows our nature. He knows we are wired to worship because He wired us. It’s in our DNA. I think the first two commandments are there to remind us to take notice and watch ourselves and our choices. We have been given free will. The commandments remind us to choose wisely.

It’s always good to take a moment to reflect on where we are and where we are going,  just to be sure we are on the path we want to be on. If we’re not, maybe it’s time to change course. God will be happy to meet us along the way.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

What God Plants

Posted on by Wendy
This pretty purple plant blooms year after year reminding me of the beauty in God's plan.
This pretty purple plant blooms year after year reminding me of the beauty in God’s plan.

Every year about this time, this plant with dainty little purple flowers blooms underneath my oak tree. My hubby asks me every year what it is. I mean it’s always so lush and bushy and it fills in a blank space. It’s hard to believe that I didn’t plant it or in no way do I tend to it.

I have the same answer for him every year. “I have no idea.” I haven’t even tried to look it up. I just let it serve as a reminder to me every spring, that God has a plan and I am usually clueless about what it is, but it’s beautiful like this little plant. It grows in complete shade, yet blooms anyway. I can’t tell you the countless dollars I’ve spent on every variety of hydrangea trying to get them to bloom under those trees. There’s just not enough sun. But this little guy, blooms faithfully with little light and no care.

This moss is thriving on a rock.
This moss is thriving on a rock.

This moss is thriving on a rock. How does it get its nutrients? Rocks aren’t living things; yet this moss is almost covering it. Now, I’m sure some geologist could explain the scientific reasons behind the growth, but here’s the deal; if you have ever tried to get something to grow, you know it takes work and nurture, water and fertilizer. When something grows and thrives completely on its own and it’s beautiful, that makes me take notice.

Sometimes God plants situations and people in our lives that simply thrive for no good reason. We don’t necessarily try to make them work. They just do.

Have you ever had a co-worker that is your complete opposite? I mean you may disagree on everything from politics to pizza toppings, but somehow you work beautifully together. Sometimes, you may even forge a strong friendship with this person which would normally be against all odds.

Sometimes neighbors can be like that. You wouldn’t choose them as friends. Maybe there’s an age difference or lifestyle difference, but yet, you somehow become friends.

There are times in my life when I have found the people who annoy me the most have been put in my path to teach me some kind of lesson about myself. They are sometimes not comfortable lessons and I may not have chosen to learn them on my own, but when confronted, I had to sink or swim. In the end, something beautiful came out of it.

God’s ways are mysterious and very different from ours. The Bible says, “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,”says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8

If we are able to accept and maybe even embrace, (I know this is much easier said than done.), that He has a plan and it’s good, then maybe we can take a second look at the annoying co-worker, the strange new neighbor or anyone that we wouldn’t normally choose to hang out with and ask ourselves what this person may be trying to teach us about ourselves or what should we be teaching them?

Who knows, maybe something beautiful will take root and bloom. I think it’s worth a try. What do you think about what God plants? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Life’s Doors

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Sometimes in life, doors close permanently and sometimes they stay cracked.
Sometimes in life, doors close permanently and sometimes they stay cracked.

It’s that time of year again, graduation. I live in a college town, so I’m really immersed. All of the stores have graduation cards and gift ideas. The invitations start arriving in the mail and it makes me remember my own high school graduation. It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty-six years, when in so many ways, it seems like yesterday.

High school graduation is one of those surreal life moments that’s hard to explain. They walk onto the stage as high schoolers and walk off the stage as graduates. As each student receives their diploma and steps off of the stage, a door silently closes behind them and everything is somehow different.

There’s a wide world out there and even if they want to go back, that particular door is closed forever.

We walk through many doors in our lives, high school, college, first job, marriage, parenthood and sometimes divorce. We have dreams that we sometimes realize and sometimes we leave them firmly locked behind a door.

There are times when we have closed certain doors and should leave them closed, but we are tempted to take a peek at what lies behind them. Think of things like unhealthy relationships or addiction.

Sometimes we leave doors cracked a little, so we can check out what’s on the other side at a later date. These can be things like dreams and aspirations that we haven’t realized yet, but don’t want to give up on. It may be something like going back to school or starting a new career or learning to paint. Everyone’s doors are different.

There are times when God closes a door. In the Bible, when Noah and his family boarded the ark, the scripture says, “A male and female of each kind entered, just as God commanded Noah. Then the Lord closed the door behind them.”

Why did God close the door? Was He trying to deprive them of something? Nope, He closed the door to keep them safe. They had no way of knowing how bad the flood would be. God told Noah that He would flood the earth and that it would rain for forty days and forty nights, but do you really think Noah and his family could truly conceptualize this? God closed the door to keep them safe.

So what can we learn from this story? When we pass through doors like high school graduation, we know they can’t be re-opened. But, when we are faced with doors that we are uncertain about, we really need to take the time to pray about going forward.

Is this particular door one that God would want closed or is this something I should pursue? Anything that’s harmful or doesn’t line up with scripture, is a pretty safe bet that we should leave shut tight. But, what about old dreams or plans? Well, sometimes God may have said, “Not now” instead of “Not ever.” Sometimes we are supposed to pursue those things.

God has plans to prosper you and not harm you. The Bible says so. So as you are walking along life’s road and encounter a door, ask God whether you should go through it or turn around and head up another path. If you are patient, He will tell you. That’s a promise.

What do you think about life’s doors. I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Dirty Dish Moments

Posted on by Wendy
The breakfast mess on Mother's Day is one of the memories I will treasure the most.
The breakfast mess on Mother’s Day is one of the memories I will treasure the most.

I spent a lot of time Saturday working out in the yard. Spring has been a long time coming this year and there’s always much to be done when the earth finally wakes up from its winter slumber. One of my tasks was doing some serious cleaning on my back porch. Besides the regular crud that accumulates during the winter months, those of us who live in Georgia, have this fabulous yellow-green pollen that blankets everything like a layer of snow.

I got the hose and some Comet and got on my hands and knees and scrubbed. Then I swapped out winter plants for summer ones. Finally, I put down my new rug I purchased, and my porch was Pinterest-worthy. I couldn’t wait to get up the next morning (which happened to be Mother’s Day) and have a cup of coffee on my newly cleaned porch and enjoy my new rug and my new plants.

I mean, I was like a kid on Christmas Eve, so excited to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I did get up Sunday morning and have that cup of coffee on the porch. I listened to the birds as I watched nature come alive. I read my Bible and wrote in my journal. I stroked my dog, who snuggled next to me. I prayed and thanked God for this glorious morning. I felt completely at peace.

Then, my hubby, joined by our daughter, came out carrying a huge tray of food with a card on it. We talked and enjoyed our breakfast. Next, my son came stumbling in with his breakfast. We all sat and talked for quite a while, soaking up the morning and basking in each other’s company.

As we reluctantly, got up to start our day, I ran and got my camera. My son grabbed a plate when he saw me aiming at the table full of dishes. I told him to put it back down. He looked very puzzled as he complied. I told him I had a post idea. My family is used to this by now. They don’t even ask what in the world I must be thinking anymore.

The table full of dishes told a much more beautiful story than the Pinterest-worthy porch ever could. The dishes were evidence of a family coming together for a meal. The dishes represented a family communing together out of desire, not duty. Everyone is expected to come to the dinner table every night. But, breakfast is looser. It’s optional on the weekends.

They didn’t have to come to the porch. They could have eaten in the kitchen like they do every morning. My kids and my husband, chose togetherness. Those dishes were like trophies to me.

Life is so short and the one thing we all wish we had more of, is time. It’s the one thing that is finite. The people in our lives are gifts from God. A meal and time with those people we hold dear, is something to treasure and the dirty dishes, well they are just a reminder of time well spent.

I’m going to try to embrace all of the dirty dish moments in my life. Care to join me? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Mother Love

Posted on by Wendy
Happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mother’s Day.

This weekend is Mother’s Day. As I think of this day set aside to honor all the world’s mamas, I think about the unique gift of mother love. Mothers and fathers love their children in entirely different ways. Both are equally important, but they are different.

I kind of think of the Old and New Testament in the Bible, as father love and mother love. The Old Testament has rules, punishment, wars and justice. We get a picture of the nature of God. He loves His children dearly, but there is punishment for disobedience. Think about Jonah. God forgives, but the Old Testament is the tougher side of God.

The New Testament is about Jesus and grace. It’s still a part of God, but a loving, softer side. It’s more representative of mother love. You can’t read one part without the other and get the entire picture. You need both.

Mother love isn’t a gift just given by a mother to her biological children. There are many women out there who have loved those who God has put in their path, with the love of a mother for a child. There are many grown women who could readily give you the names of mother figures in their lives, who have nurtured them along the way.

I have an awesome mother, but I also had several surrogate grandmothers that I cherish. I have had teachers who have mothered me as well as some church mamas. Take a moment and say a prayer of thanks for all of  those women God has sent into your life, whether they share your blood or not.

Then ask yourself, who all have you played a mother to? Where are they today and how are they doing? Take a moment to thank God for those people He sent you, to give some mother love. Ask Him if there’s someone who might need you today.

Ask yourself if you know any mamas out there today who may be missing their children or children who may be missing their mamas. (You never outgrow the need for your mother.) Maybe you could give that person a call or send a note or invite him/her for lunch.

Mother’s Day is really a celebration of all women. We are all mothers in some way, whether we ever actually give birth or not. God made us that way. We are different from our male counterparts. God made us different and that’s a good thing.

So, Happy Mother’s Day to all the ladies reading this, and to all the men, be sure to tell the women in your life how much you love and appreciate them. I hope you have a fabulous day.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

What is Your Song?

Posted on by Wendy

 

If you had to pick a song to describe your life, what would it be?
If you had to pick a song to describe your life, what would it be?

I love music. I suppose I always have. I don’t play an instrument, but I have great appreciation for those who do. When my hubby and I first wed, we played music all of the time. We liked all genres. We were never getting cable. (Okay, so we changed our minds about that.) I was raised on Country and Western; think way back like Conway Twitty and the Statler brothers. I hated it as a kid, but I love it now.

I’m an eighties’ child, so I still love Michael Jackson and Madonna, (her early stuff.) Of course, being raised in rural Georgia, Southern Rock is also one of my favorite types of music.

Being raised in the Deep South also means going to church every Sunday, so I have a deep love for the old hymns like Amazing Grace and I’ll Fly Away.

Music has the unique ability to transform us back to another time. Certain songs are like time machines that can stop us in our tracks and remind us of a particular vacation or place or person. There are some songs that I always link with specific people in my memories.

Then, some songs always bring comfort. Hymns like Amazing Grace, always soothe my soul when it’s troubled.

Music has the ability to calm a crying baby and most moms seem to instinctively know to hum or sing while trying to quiet a fussy infant.

Human beings seem to be born to appreciate and create music. There are records of musical instruments in Egypt as early as 3,000 B.C. There are records of music throughout the Bible especially in the Book of Psalms. David played a harp to soothe an evil spirit that tormented King Saul. The Hebrews sang to praise God.

I think music is a gift to us from God. It can make us laugh and it can make us cry. It can be a form of praise. It can be a form of protest. Remember the sixties? Music has the ability to move us.

If your life had a soundtrack, what would it sound like? Would it be upbeat and happy? Would there be a lot of love songs? Would it be dark and angry? Would there be a lot of sad songs?

As you ponder those questions, ask yourself, if you had to pick one song to describe your life today, at this moment, what would it be? What about one song to describe your relationship with your spouse or your kids? What song would you choose to describe your relationship with God?

After thinking about your song choices, are you happy with your soundtrack? If so, that’s awesome. Rock on! If not, you have the ability to change it. Life is ever-changing and God will meet us wherever we are. We can’t hit rewind like on a cassette tape, but we can hit the search button and create an entirely new song. After all, the beat goes on!

At the moment, I love the Happy song. Care to share your soundtrack choices? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

The Psychology of the Promposal

Posted on by Wendy
The promposal has become more important than the dance.
The promposal has become more important than the dance.

What in the world is a promposal, you may ask? It’s the craze that has swept high schools across the country where a boy comes up with some elaborate, very public gesture to ask a girl to prom. In my daughter’s high school, it has filtered down to the homecoming dance as well.

Think about the guy who has an airplane fly a banner around a crowded football stadium with a marriage proposal. While we might have an initial, “Oh how sweet!” thought. My next thought is always, “I hope she really wants to marry this guy, because with this proposal, he really left her no choice.”

Back in the late 80’s when I was a teen and the dinosaurs roamed the earth, asking a girl to prom was a more intimate affair. Dating couples always went together. Who else would you go with besides your boyfriend/girlfriend? There were kids who had “liked” each other for awhile and they would get the courage to quietly inquire about each other’s feelings. (Note quietly, usually through a trusted friend, not on Instagram for the entire student body to see.) They would often end up at prom together. Then there were teens that would go as friends, no romance involved at all. The system seemed to work out beautifully.

Now, there’s a competition among all boys to see who can come up with the grandest gesture. I Googled the word promposal and go thirteen million hits. You Tube has forty-six thousand videos of promposals. Now I may be a little old-fashioned here, but it seems to me the shift has gone from the girl to the boy. It’s become about his gesture, not about her answer and it’s certainly not about going together to the dance. They all desperately want to make it on You Tube.

What has happened? We can definitely blame it on social media along with reality television. The entire world wants their fifteen minutes and like the bratty girl in Willy Wonka, “They want it now!” But, I think there’s something deeper going on here. These kids are no longer engaged in true face-to-face relationship.

They are hyper-focused on how things look and competition. There was even one school who had a contest for the best promposal. Do these kids really need more pressure to be self-focused?

I’m all for romance. But, if you think about some of the most romantic moments in your life, were they in front of hundreds of people? I think true romance is between two people. Today’s teens are boasting two hundred Instagram friends and Twitter followers, but they are lonely. Even the kids who are going as friends are pressured to do the huge gesture.

Why? I think maybe we need to talk to our boys about what teen girls really seek. Don’t the girls really just want to feel special and appreciated? Don’t they still appreciate hand-holding, having doors opened for them, dinner and a movie or flowers? Isn’t there some highly technical way to make a mixed tape for that special girl?

Maybe we really need to encourage our teens to get out of the wide wide world of cyberspace and into the three-dimensional world of actual people and real world dating. If they can’t learn to talk face-to-face and problem solve in their relationships, what will their future marriages look like?

I think the answer is relationship. We need to treasure relationship with each other, with our spouses and with our kids. We need to teach them the importance of relationship and encourage them to pursue it. We were not meant to sit alone in a room while we shine in cyberspace. School dances weren’t designed around who has the greatest promposal. It’s all about relationship. It always has been.

What do you think about promposals and relationship? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

Infinite Blessings

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God's blessings are infinite.
God’s blessings are infinite.

My daughter has been playing guitar for five years now. She’s become pretty good at it. While she likes to perform, and happily plays any time she is asked, every time I try to get her to enter any sort of talent contest, she flat-out refuses. When I kept asking her why, she told me that she loves playing, but wanted to know why I expected her to compete for some sort of prize or recognition. She wanted to know why she couldn’t just play for pure enjoyment.

I was speechless. (a rarity for me) She posed a good question. Why did I expect her to compete? If there’s an activity that she enjoys doing and it fills her soul and she can use it to serve God as well, isn’t that enough? Does she have to perform for some sort of human accolade or recognition?

I quickly reversed myself and told her that she should play whenever she wants and only then. She has experienced a similar situation with her grades at school. She does well because she works hard. She makes A’s through her own sweat and work ethic, not because school is easy for her. But, inevitably after every test, there’s one girl who just has to know what her grade is. Why does it matter? The girl finally told another student that my daughter always made one point higher than she did and she just couldn’t stand it.

Again, I ask why? What difference does it make? Is there a limited amount of A’s available? Furthermore, she’s not going for valedictorian or anything like that. Why does the other girl feel the need to compete?

I’m all for competition in sports. There really has to be a winner. Why else would you play? There is legitimate competition for class valedictorian and Star Student and things like that, but why do we want to compete over every little aspect of our lives? It’s as if we believe that there are a finite number of people who can have talent or a finite number of people who can be honor students or a finite number of people who can have nice houses or good marriages.

We sometimes act as if God has a finite number of blessings available. But, if we dig deeper, we have to know that the word finite can never be used to refer to God. If we know that truth, then why do we insist on competing with one another relentlessly?

I think maybe it’s our focus. I think when we focus on ourselves or on other people, we are not focusing on God. When we focus on God, we use our talents to the best of our abilities to honor Him with our lives. That may look like winning a soccer game, but it may look like playing, “Jesus Loves Me” at children’s church. It looks a little bit different for everyone.

What God focus never looks like, is fretting that someone else has nicer clothes or a newer car. The focus should be using our talent to serve God and fellow Christians with it. It doesn’t look like always seeking the spotlight or obsession with winning.

Jesus said, “The last will be first and the first will be last.” Matthew 20:16 The Kingdom of God is full of infinite blessings. They simply don’t run out. I think we should keep our eyes on Him and off of ourselves and our neighbors and count our blessings. They really are infinite. What do you think about infinite blessings?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy

Growing Friendship

Posted on by Wendy
My daughter had some really good friends come and cheer her on at a performance last weekend.
My daughter had some really good friends come and cheer her on at a performance last weekend.

My daughter is almost finished with her freshman year of high school. When she started this year, one of her friends asked her what she hoped to accomplish during her four years of high school. Her friend went on to say that she wanted her name on trophies to be displayed in the office. She wanted her name left permanently on the school. She also had plans of obtaining very high grades that would also earn her a permanent plaque.

When she pressed my daughter on what she hoped to accomplish during her high school years, she replied, “I hope to make some lifelong friendships like my mom has with some of her friends from high school.”

Her friend was stunned. It doesn’t seem like a very lofty goal at first glance, but it’s much harder than it appears and incredibly worth it. Friendship isn’t something that’s tangible and they certainly won’t give you a trophy for it with your name engraved on it, but there are few things in life that I treasure more.

I just celebrated my forty-fourth birthday and one of my dearest friends from high school came over first thing that day and brought me a card and we had coffee and caught up. Her gift was priceless.

My daughter had a performance last weekend where she sang and played the guitar. She invited her closest friends to her performance. They came and stood in the hot sun for an hour-and-a-half, waiting for her to play and then clapped and cheered for her when she went on.

In the early teen years, I can’t tell you what this means to a young girl’s self-esteem. These friends are a gift from God, a gift I pray she will always treasure. I pray that these kids will continue to grow their friendship as they love and support each other.

I truly believe she got it right that day in a conversation in early August. While sports and grades are definitely a very important part of high school, relationship is king. Competition and hard work are a necessary part of life, but we were made for relationship. All the social media and texting over talking, has made relationship and true friendship much harder to grow.

It may be harder, but not impossible and I regularly encourage her to gather with her community. My mom did the same. There was always a crowd of kids at my house growing up. They always felt welcome. We always had a place to be together.(and plenty of snacks) We made memories that still make me smile.

My daughter’s friends are often at my house where I always try to make them feel welcome. I try to encourage relationship and I pray that she will always remember the fabulous gift that true friendship is. Who knows, perhaps on her forty-fourth birthday, one of those girls will join her for coffee? I hope she will be that blessed.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂

 

Keeping the Coyotes at Bay

Posted on by Wendy

 

The woods can appear much safer than they actually are.
The woods can appear much safer than they actually are.

My hubby and I were sitting on the porch a few nights ago enjoying the spring air. The sun was getting close to setting, but it was still light out. We could hear sirens in the distance. The high-pitched noise got all of the neighborhood dogs barking and howling. We shook our heads at all of the commotion and then we heard this ear-piercing noise, just off of our yard, in the woods. It was howling just like the other dogs, but their were so many different voices. He and I froze as it dawned on us at the same time. “Coyotes,” we said in unison.

We know that they are back there. We have had neighbors see them from time to time. But, they sounded so very close and there were so many of them. It was truly creepy and it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. The sounds of the sirens subsided as did the shrill howling. Our dogs continued to bark, safely on their side of the fence. I wondered if  the dogs knew they were there all along or did the howling alert them as well?

Although unpleasant, it was a reminder that we needed. There are predators out there whether we can see them or not and complacency is dangerous. The Bible tells us that we are in an ongoing spiritual war against “spiritual forces of evil.” It tells us to be vigilant. It does not tell us to be afraid, but to protect ourselves.

It’s a lot like our ongoing, “War on Terror.” We’re not supposed to be afraid to live our lives. If we are, then the terrorists win. We are to live our everyday lives with our eyes wide opened and be prepared to act if necessary. Think about all of the hoops you have to jump through these days if you want to fly. You have to take your shoes off. You can’t carry anything larger than a few ounces. There’s a huge list of requirements to get on an airplane. While we grumble about the huge inconvenience of it all, we grudgingly comply because it keeps us safe.

Our spiritual lives are no different. To be vigilant we need to read the Bible. What exactly does God have to say about this issue or that? We need to pray and listen for His voice. (It may take more than five minutes while we are falling asleep at night.) We need to attend worship service somewhere.

Finally, we really need to get connected to some kind of Christian community. Whether it’s a Sunday school class or a small group or even an online community. Christians need each other to grow deep faith roots. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man (or woman), sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17.

We need each other. We need community. God designed us that way. It can help to fill up our hearts and souls. It can help us in times of grief and celebrate with us in times of joy. It can help to keep us safe. There are predators out there just like the coyotes behind my house. We don’t have fear them. We just have to be vigilant. I think the peace of mind is worth it. Don’t you? I’d love to hear from you.

Have an awesome day!

Wendy 🙂