Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with clearly written signs?
We have all done it. I’m just as guilty as the next person. When something bad happens to someone we know, we say something like, “If I were her, I’d leave him.” or “If my child did that I would…”
Whether we hear about someone’s spouse being unfaithful or someone’s child cheating on a test, we all are very quick to interject what we would do in that situation. We have all the answers or do we?
The truth is we never know what we will do if placed in a certain set of circumstances. We may think we know, but we can’t possibly know because we have not walked in another person’s shoes and we will never walk in another person’s shoes; so we can never truly make a judgement call about what we would or wouldn’t do, if we were that person.
But, we love to be armchair quarterbacks. I wonder why that is. Why are we so full of advice for other people when we have a hard time just running our own lives? Maybe other people’s problems seem easier because they are not our own. Our own lives are harder than anyone else’s. Right? That’s why it’s so much easier to tell other people what they should do, than to figure out our own situations.
Jesus showed a perfect understanding of our tendency to do this when he said, “How can you think of saying to your friend, “Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye, when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?” Matthew 7:4 Ouch! This particular verse speaks to me. We really have no business giving unsolicited advice, period.
Jesus didn’t say not to help someone out who seeks your counsel. He specifically says not to go around telling people what the should do when we don’t have it together ourselves. Wise advice to be sure, but Jesus has always known our nature and chooses to love us anyway.
Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
So, as Christians, how should we react when we hear that someone’s life has taken a bad turn through no fault of their own? We pray for them. We offer support. We don’t gossip about it and we don’t give advice that they didn’t ask for. Support can come in many forms, but it never comes in the form of condemnation.
If someone asks our advice in a situation, then we should kindly and gently speak truth as best we can, but if they don’t ask it, we should zip our lips, keeping in mind that we never know when life will throw us a curve ball of our own. I think we would all do well to remember to “do unto others…”
What do you think about unsolicited advice? Feel free to share.
Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂