I am a lifelong optimist. Some experts say nature causes optimism and some say nurture. I don’t know which is true; I just know I usually am able to see the good in most situations. That’s not to say that I don’t have my occasional down day. I think that because I usually am so optimistic, when I lose sight of the light, it’s a particularly dark time for me. When you are used to seeing the good in everything, seeing nothing, but the bad is very disheartening and even kind of frightening.
On those half-empty days, I really call on God for help. I try to think of all of the things I’m thankful for and I count the many blessings I have been given, (and I’ve been given a lot.) On this day, financial worries were closing in. It was the beginning of a new school year and everyone seemed to have their hand out. There were regular expenses like new school supplies, new clothes, joining PTO and locker money, (Can you believe the kids have to pay for lockers?), agenda money; the list went on. Also, our car tag taxes were due. My hubby and I were trying valiantly not to use the credit card. We are a one income family, so when unexpected expenses pour in, that can be tricky. We thought we had it under control this year. I had a band function to attend that night where I was expected to pay $60.00 in band fees and $70.00 for a band uniform. To top it off, I was fighting a three-day headache. I ran into the pharmacy to pick a few things up and the pharmacist informed me that my husband’s auto-refill prescription was ready. When he rang me up, it came to a total of $74.00. I was crushed. $74.00 doesn’t sound like a lot, but when money is super tight, it’s a lot. That $70.00 was budgeted for a band uniform.
I went home and began praying about finances (again). Why wasn’t God listening to me? Why wasn’t he answering my prayers? Weren’t we living the way we were called to? Weren’t we teaching our children to know and love him? Why was this so hard and would my head ever stop hurting? I was in tears as I checked my e-mail. I subscribe to a blog called http://www.incourage.me You’ll never guess what the topic was. “When your God-sized dream is to be a wife and mother.”
The hair literally stood up on the back of my neck. The entire post was about how being a wife and mother doesn’t pay very well and we won’t get famous doing it, but that God’s call is not to fame and fortune. As Christians, we are to seek the Kingdom of God first. Tears were streaming down my face as I was reminded once again by my heavenly father who never seems to run out of patience with me, that he was in fact listening and I was on the right path. Matthew 6:33 popped into my mind. “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
As I drove to the band meeting, I felt a renewed sense of peace. I wasn’t sure how we would cover the $70.00 uniform fee, but I knew God would provide. The band director greeted us at the door and when I asked him where we could purchase uniforms, he informed me that we were not purchasing uniforms that evening. The e-mail had specifically said that we would purchase uniforms. I could almost hear God in my ear whispering, “Why do you ever doubt me?” I got back into my car, overcome again by the love of God for me. As soon as I got home, I wrote it all down to remind myself that even when my glass looks half-empty, in reality my cup runneth over. God always provides.
Have an awesome day!
Wendy 🙂