A couple of days ago, I sat down at my kitchen table and had a pity party. I had just returned from the doctor’s office after a breathing treatment and armed with an antibiotic. My week-long cold had turned into bronchitis and I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
My sweet hubby, bless his heart, was trying to fix me something for lunch even though I had no appetite. When he sat down and joined me, the tears began to fall. Nothing was going right. Why wasn’t God answering my prayers? Weren’t we doing all of the right things? Why were all of my plans failing?
Now, my hubby has spent close to twenty years living with me. He didn’t intervene. He just sat there quietly listening and let me wallow. He didn’t have any answers. He didn’t offer any, but he also didn’t try to make me feel better. I suspect he knew that while I was at a low point, my own faith would help me find the light.
We talked for a little while and he went back to work.
It’s interesting how God can work through our people, those who we hold dear. I didn’t really need for him to point out all of our blessings; I knew they were there. I was just in a dark place at the moment. My hubby knew through his own faith, that he couldn’t get me out, but he knew who could and so he just listened.
I found myself asking God all that day where He was and why I couldn’t feel Him or see Him at the moment. My faith told me He was there, but like a child, I wanted proof.
The next morning, I awoke super early. I couldn’t sleep for some reason, but I felt better. The antibiotic was working. I had the entire day to myself with nothing on the schedule, so I asked God for a quiet day, one where I could seek Him and hear Him.
I did some Yoga as I prayed, in front of a window. It was the first day I could breathe deeply in a week. I kept noticing the wind moving in the trees and I had my answer.
We can’t see the wind, but its power and ability is evident in the world around us. It moves the trees and cools the earth. It makes wind chimes create beautiful music. It can also be quite destructive. Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t make it real and present.
As I was pondering that thought, my eye was drawn to a bush that comes back every year. I have no idea what it is. I didn’t plant it, but it’s beautiful and hardy and comes back on its own. It reminded me that while I do have work to do, God is working too, on things and plans of beauty that I can’t even fathom.
My part is to simply trust and be patient. I felt incredibly encouraged.
Sometimes I need reminding. Perhaps you do too.
Have an awesome day!